This one is for the ladies

This one is for the ladies---

No I am not going to share about how crazy you can be, or talk about how you need to be in the kitchen. But if you don’t mind can I get a sandwich? I know that I have my sexist moments… a lot… but all joking aside, I typically do not care if people comment on my blogs, I don’t do this for your feedback and comments, I do this because I like to vent and say shit in an open area. But this one is different. I want, and somewhat expect some comments, answers, and even some questions about this blog.  I know that the following questions to not refer to every single woman, so I ask that if it does not describe you personally, give me an answer from a woman’s point of view. For those that know me, you know how to reach me, for anybody that reads this and you do not know me, leave a comment here, I will be looking for it and will get back on it, and let you know when I respond.

No man understands women and no man ever will. You are too complicated and twisted more than a DNA strand for any man to even half way understand. That’s fine, because we all know you are some sort of alien, probably. But here is what I am doing. I have questions… and I have something to offer in return. Just read on. I hope that some of you might answer some of them, and use your own experience, or answer on how and why you would react the way you did/would. So here we go, 10 issues to deal with.

The first issue--- I have no way to lead into this so here you go—The next girl that says I want a sweet nice caring guy I am going to call her a liar, say she is full of shit and go find some asshole dick to date--- unless one of you can give me a good answer.

Issue #1: This is probably the biggest one and the one every guy really wants to know. Why is it that women always say they want a nice, sweet caring guy, but never go after them when they meet them? When they do, they get rid of him for an asshole? There are plenty of nice guys out there, I know a few and they cannot get a nice girl… or any girl. When they meet a girl they get put in your friend zone faster than they can turn on the XBOX. I also know some guys, myself included, who have found a great girl, but they turn us away or dump us for a guy that treats them like shit. Then they complain to us about him. If you do not want a nice guy then stop saying you do. Although I must admit, I have laughed more than once when a girl later tells me that the guy she chose over me cheated, or lied, or treats them badly. It is sometimes hard to feel sorry for them.

Issue #2: To tag on to issue #1, what is it about assholes that you like? Guys that are controlling, that treat you like shit, that make you cry, that tear down your self esteem… why is that attractive to you?

Issue #3: This only goes for about half of the women… maybe that is a bit generous, I don’t know. Why can women not get interested, or even show interest in sports or video games that we like. If we show interest in your things, cut us some slack. Along with that, why don’t most of you like sports or video games???

Issue #4: Is it just a genetic thing to be so sensitive? Not just in the “I saw a sad movie and cried” sense, but about everything. I tell an off colored joke and you get offended or butt hurt about it, or watch a movie with a questionable situation and you always take the moral side of it. (Military women excluded) But guys can joke around about those things, and not always mean it, but find it funny.

Issues #5: What is wrong with nerds? A lot of women turn and run when they find out a guy is a nerd of some sort. It can be video games, comic books, board games, or figurine collections. I am a guilty party of this one. What is wrong with us having a hobby that we enjoy? I have a large collection of statues and figurines, and some women have said that makes me immature… how so? I will make the video game a whole separate issue.

Issue #6: Video games. Really? Get over it ladies. What is wrong with guys liking video games? Yes we know it’s not real. You all have your baths, reading, wine, girls’ nights and soap operas and Greys Anatomy to relax and relieve stress. Guys have video games. And I am not blind, I know that we can spend a lot of time on them, but a lot of games are not just a 30 minute thing. Most games you need to spend a good hour+ in it to get things done. I guess the big point here, is why do you have a problem with guys playing video games?

Issue #7: Why do you get so jealous so easily? Guys get jealous too I know, but you do it more. If we look at some other girl while we are with you, you automatically think that we want her instead of you. Guys like girls. If we see a girl in a short skirt with nice legs, we look. A nice rack, we look. But who are we with? Who are we coming home to? You are beautiful to us that is why we are with you, we find you attractive, but other women can be attractive too. Do you really honestly believe that we think no other woman can be hot? What do you expect to accomplish by getting pissed at us? To blend with this, why do you feel that you must control everything? Who we go out with where we are, what we are doing? What about us makes you never trust us?

Issue #8: Are you ready for this? This one will get dicey. Why do you hate porn? Let’s dig a little deeper…. It’s degrading, it turns men into pigs, it gives women a bad name… these are the obvious. Can you teach us guys something we don’t already know? I know lots of women who do not have an issue with it, but more do than don’t. Let’s hear your opinion. Lets piggy back on this one too, what’s wrong with threesomes? Oh boy I have a feeling I’m going to get it for this…. and anal? (Yes, I know, I can be a dick at times)

Issue #9: Women have come a long way in the equal rights thing. You have CEO positions, you have most of the same jobs in the military, you can do everything a man does… yet you still pull the woman card. Why can you not make a decision? Do you want to be treated equal and fair, or do you want to be left out and have special treatment. You don’t get it both ways.

Issue #10: Yes, this is a serious question. What the hell is so damn great about Twilight?

I told you I would try and offer you something in return and of course I am a man of my word. I am sure you have plenty of situations and questions about guys. Well bring it on. Many times a girl asks me “why are they acting this way, why does he do this, what does he mean by this?” I answer in one of two ways. If I have ever been in the situation or used that excuse I tell them why I did and what I was trying to hide/get away with or explain a guys thought process from my situation. The second is I try to place myself in that situation and explain what I would try to be doing if I said or did those things. I will do the same thing here. Ask away and I will give you the most upfront answer I can, from my point of view. This may turn into an ongoing thing for a week or two, so keep coming back to this and see what was added.

Look forward to hearing your excuses/reasoning/answers,

The Meat Hammer

A While Coming.

Well hello there. I had written a blog a couple weeks ago but decided not to post it due to all of the emotions it would bring up in a lot of people. It was about suicide and my nephew. Yes, there is a correlation there. So instead of a full blog on that topic I decided to simply blend all kinds of things into one and slightly touch on that as well. This will be a little long, just a heads up. How about we make this a shit sandwich?

I was able to go home for Thanksgiving. It was much needed. I was able to spend lots of time with family and see some old friends as well. I had two highlights on Thanksgiving. The first was my old man. He means a lot to me, and I wonder sometimes if I am doing enough to be able to wear his name proudly. Not that I think my old man is not proud of me, but I feel like a failure sometimes. During dinner we all share what we are thankful for and it always gets emotional. When my old man mentioned me, and he said how proud he was, it was an unexplainable feeling. The second highlight was that I finally got to see and talk to my nephew. Bama has not let me see or talk to him for some time now. The day before when he called the house I was told I was not allowed to talk. On Thanksgiving he Skyped with us, and I again was told not to talk and could not be in the camera. I could only take so much of this and I lost it. Seeing that little guy and know that I cannot talk to him about made me blow a gasket. He knew I was there, and finally Bama said I could talk for a moment. Well I turned that moment into the rest of the conversation. Afterwards when Bama was thanked, she replied, it won’t happen again. What a bitch.

                Second part of Bama…. I find this funny and probably always will, while others saw it as crossing the line. I had been calling nonstop to talk to my nephew and sending texts to try and talk to him. I never got a reply. Well again, I can only take so much so I decided to spam text Bama. A few hundred texts later I pissed everyone off. Some stuff was said and got a little out of hand. None the less, I got a good laugh. I also learned the 2 reasons why she does not let me talk to him… not going to mention them specifically. But I will say this…. the first she was not satisfied with my bullshit apology, second is because she must be blind or not know how to read and now says I said something I did not. Even though it is in text form and anyone can read what was said, she will insist that she is right.

Let’s make this as short as I can. My nephew saved my life, literally. When I had hit rock bottom there were 2 major things/people that kept me going. My nephew was the one that broke the mold. When I honest to God thought of ending my life, I was able to see and hold him and my life suddenly seemed perfect. I don’t know if I will ever be able to explain this to him, but I owe him my life. And the fact that Bama uses her son to get her way proves she should not be a mother.

I have a big decision to make. Bama, as I mentioned before, uses my nephew to get whatever she wants. And because we all love him so much, and want to be a part of his life, we suck it up and do what she asks. Let me make sure you grasped this…. she threatens people with never seeing or talking to her son to get her way. Really? And now it is my turn again to swallow the bullet. I have a real hard time doing this because all it does is fuel her “power” and tells her that it’s ok to do that. But if I don’t then when will I be able to talk to him again?

Now something a little more serious, I shared something this past week with my mother that I have only told 3 people in the last 18 or so years. I don’t really know the real reason why I did it. I just got to talking and it slipped, maybe subconsciously I wanted to finally get it out there, or I some reason thought it would help to explain why I am so stubborn when it comes to Bama. Maybe a little of all 3. I regret it though. Because of what it was, my mother felt responsible. I hated that she felt that way and that it made her feel guilty. Again something that I will not share here, but I will say that my mother did the best thing possible in the situation. What I confessed to her had nothing to do with her in the slightest, but because she is a mother, I think she automatically takes the blame on herself.

Have I mentioned Bama is a bitch? So I said this would be a shit sandwich so I will end with something fun. Black Friday. My mom and I wanted to get a gift for my old man. He knows it’s a big screen TV but not what size or any specifics. So we decided to go to Target at 5 on Thanksgiving and wait in line until midnight. Do you see where this is going? We were about #20 in the line at that time. By the time the store opened we were about 30ish because the group of teenager in front of us allowed their buddies to join in line. Obviously this made folks behind them, and us angry. Words were passed, many times. A target employee…. Who was a dick and at any other company probably fired for the way he handled the situation, ended up calling the cops. So, here we are around 10ish in line at Target, Black Friday, pissed off folks, and cops. Awesome. Fights almost broke out. I was kind of excited. Well by the time the store opened I, the careless dick that I am pushed my way to the second person in line at the door. I was the 3^rd person to grab the TV. It was fun.

My trip home overall was great; I stocked up on Auburn Christmas stuff, and saw lots of friends and family.  I look forward to doing it again sometime. Stay tuned for another adventure of the Meat Hammer. Merry Christmas,

-The Meat Hammer