Where am I? Where are you?

Ah man what a week it has been and it is only going up from here, in both good and hard ways. As a short catch up, Thanksgiving day was great. We had a great dinner with a big family and I loved it. After dinner we went sledding. Well kind of, it was more of us sitting on a sled and Burger pulling us to our death and hanging on for dear life. Things have happened this week and opportunities have been presented to me and my life is changing fast here. Where do I start? Don't answer me, this is my blog I will decided, now sit down and enjoy... or go color, whatever.
When I lived in Alabama, I was part of a youth group that was awesome for me. I was in that point of my life where I had a good relationship with the big guy upstairs. Then I moved to Utah, and yea thats when I tasted booze for the first real time, I still had a great relationship because of my church and church family. Then I moved to Canada, or Kennada if you will, and that went down hill. I just didn't have that group of friends, not that there was anything wrong with my friends there. Some of the best a guy could have, but it was a different group. It showed in my life too. Then I moved to Vegas, and I tried to get back on track and it just didn't work,  no matter how many times I hit my knees. And now  I have come full circle and I am back in Utah, and have a new church family, I play in the worship band at church, I am part of the camp again this year, and even my mouth has improved, a lot. This situation plays a huge role in my upcoming life choices, and I will get back to that. This past Monday at home church we spoke about faith, and it was cool because friends of mine there are in the same situation job wise as I am about a big career move, and we spoke about having faith that God has given us this chance. And how whatever job choice you make, if you bring God with you, he will take care and provide for you. I try to keep that in mind in making my choice.

I wanted to go to Washington and continue with my job that I have now in the military. Man I love my job, scope dope, monkey work, whatever you want to say about it, I love it. But I might be giving all of that up for opportunities that might exist in the far future. Talk about having faith right? I am now choosing to toss away the Washington spot and transferring into the Guard here in Utah and cross training into paralegal. Something I know nothing about and don't have a very high interest in, but could really help me in the future with my Criminal justice degree. I also would only drive to Salt Lake instead of getting to California every month which is a pain in the rear end. I also would not leave my support system I have here in Utah, the family and friends I have, the great church and church family and the chances to grow better as a person. I have to make this choice soon, and I am trying to have faith that it is the right choice and God will be there with me.

Other things are happening for me here too. I have been giving guitar lessons to a 15 year old girl, and after only 5 maybe 6 sessions she can play songs and I love it. It is something I really look forward too. I am also still getting attention at work,. The managers are noticing my selling skills, and hopefully soon a full time slot will open for me to grab. I am still fighting for hours but it is a winning battle for me. Football has been in my favor this year as well. A great Iron Bowl win last week just made my Black Friday even better. I watched the game with a hardcore Bama fan like I am an Auburn fan, and we both had our happy and angry times. It was a blast. Now for 1 more game before taking that well deserved crystal ball away from Bama. I am hoping to maybe go to that game in Glendale, but it really relies on my GI Bill money coming in before then. So God, if you really love me, make it happen! Lastly I am getting myself back out there. I have a date this weekend that I am nervous but excited about. No details for anybody right now, even though there are no secrets on here I will wait for the right time. I have not been on an actual date in 4 years. Last real date was with bat shit crazy Natalie, and that wasn't even a real date so probably not since I lived in Utah last time have I had a real date. Scary times. I hope that I am ready to move on with that part of my life. I think I am but time will tell.
 So this week is a busy important week for me, and I am not hoping for the best, because I know I deserve the best and thats what I will get.

"Life could you be a little softer to me? Life can you be more gentle to me? Yea I know, this is a selfish plea because Christ sacrificed his flesh on the cross for me, but this world is hard, its cruel and I wish it would be, softer, softer, softer to me"


The Meat Hammer

Turkey Day Thanks rated E for everyone

So I am sure that everybody who writes a blog is doing a thanksgiving blog, and in the spirit of being non conforming I will do one too. .......... yes you read that right.

Every year my family goes around the table before eating and says what they are thankful for, and in my absence I send a letter for Mrs. Meat Hammer to read, this year was no different, but the letter was. Every year I have so much to be thankful for, but this year is different. I have very few things, but as the saying goes, it is not the quantity but the quality that matters. To the soon mentioned, thank you.

To the Meat Hammer family - Mr and Mrs. Meat Hammer, this has been a bumpy year not only for the two of you but for the 3 of us as well. I am thankful that you are both alive and mostly healthy. Thank you for the support you gave me during my rock bottom time this year. And even though you want me to take different paths in life you stand behind my choices. Sibling Meat Hammer, not only are you an idiot in football, the choosing of good teams, and a  douche bag, I know I have your support as well. And even though we do things that we don't agree on, like quitting a great job and moving across the country for a girl, or getting married to an old man we are a crutch of support. I am thankful you brought the little Meat Hammer into this world. And to the little Meat Hammer I wish you were a little bit older to understand things. Kid you are the world to me and you have no idea. When I was broken to a point that no man should ever be broken, just your smile put me back together. Kid I would go to great lengths for you no matter what the cost and I am glad you are so close with your distant uncle.

To The Meat Hammer second family - Shanarchy, I don't even know how to start words for how thankful I am for you. Just sitting here trying to put the words together brings a tear to my eye. I honestly don't think there are any words to express what I want to say. Thank you for everything, the sacrifices, the love, the support the laughter, the encouragement, the friendship, the move, and for making me a better person just by knowing you. You mean the world to me and you are one of the very few things that kept me going, and at times kept me alive during this year. You are an angel and I will never be able to thank you enough for the many things you helped me with and never had a clue what you were really doing for me. Mr. Archy, I am so glad I have met you. The only impression you had of me was drunk dude in my boxers with a guitar, and you helped me in probably my worst time in life. Since then you have become a good friend of mine, and now a brother in law to me. I thank you for being such a good friend, and so good to Shanarchy. Duff Mil, I was nothing but some dude moving into your house, but you didn't care. We have become good friends when I needed a friend. I look forward to hanging out more and getting closer. Boss Lady, I thank you for getting me my old job back without a wink. When I needed to move and get a job you didn't even think twice you welcomed me back with open arms, and I appreciate it so much. I hope that up until now, and that I will keep impressing you at my job and keep proving how truly thankful I am for it.  To all of my other non mentioned friends that talked me through this year, that have lent me support, that cheered me up, and helped me out, thank you all. My life truly would not be the same without you all. Thank you.

To the Meat Hammer God - Hey God thats a cool name for you, I think we should re-write the Bible what do you say? I am thankful that moving back to Utah brought me closer. My ordeal in hell, aka Vegas, was one of your twisted plans that nobody will ever understand, and in an odd way I thank you for it.  I thank you for the chance to get into a church again and even the chance to play in the worship band. It is helping me with my walk with you. I thank you for the house church you brought me to, it is nice to have a church family again.

I am thankful for having a job, a roof over my head and air in my lungs. I am thankful to just be alive. There is no reason to get into the small details that we are all thankful for this year because they go without saying. And even though I don't have much to be thankful for after this crappiest year of my life, I have the important things, and thats what matters.

From the Myhre Meat Hammer home, I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving, and hope that whatever it is you are thankful for, you do not take it for granted.

The Meat Hammer

Why Me? MA

Ok so it’s time now for another blog. This is something that has been on my mind for a while and I think it’s that kind of thing that after you write about it you feel better. Who knows? So here comes out the “emo” side of me but I don’t really care what you think about it.

Man I really just wonder WTF sometimes about my life.  It just seems so messed up sometimes and I wonder what it is that I am doing wrong in life. I wonder why I don’t have that big money job. I wonder why I’m alone. I wonder why I can’t stay focused on God. I wonder why I am in the position I am in, and I wonder how the hell do I get out of it.

I want to make sure I am clear about this first off; I have many good and close friends who are married with kids, getting married, have great healthy relationships and are happy. Man I love that, and I am happy for them, but to quote Dogma I gotta ask, “When Lord? When is it my turn?” When is my time? I mean this is ridiculous. I am a damn good guy, one of those “good guys” that women complain there aren’t enough of in the world but yet, they always seem to look past me. I am not being egotistical I am being honest. Now what the hell am I doing wrong to not have this kind of happiness in my life? And turns out the girls that I do go after are either bat shit insane, or just pass me up without giving me a real chance. And yes I have heard it before, no worries Meat Hammer there are plenty of fish in the sea. Hey man she is missing out.  Dude, she just was not right for you. It’s her loss. Well no shit it is, I know all of that and it doesn’t help the fact that I am still alone. Everyone has fears. I have a few, aliens of course being the biggest. Those things just creep me out if they are real. I fear being alone. I fear I won’t find her, the one and I will stay alone.  It just aint cool. It’s one of those things that can keep me up at night.  I take peoples advice of waiting and something will come in the past, and well yea something came alright devil women who don’t even have the screws in their head to be loose.

I would be happy with this...

Mo mony mo problems right? That’s what I hear. No money more problems seems more like it. Now let’s not get confused I make enough to get by, and I think soon things will improve for this but not the way I want. What happened to being a kid and thinking yea I can have a good job I can make enough money to be happy and not worry about bills or if I can afford something. I have a part time job at Best Buy, and I am DAMN good at what I do. Always have been when it comes to my job, I take it seriously. Dare I say in my department I am the best if not second best. I deserve something better. I deserve full time. I deserve the hours and maybe a lil more money. I make a decent pay per hour but that means nothing without the hours. I thankfully have a boss who knows how hard I work and knows what I put into it, and they try to get me as much as they can but it’s just not enough. Maybe I am impatient but I wonder what it will take to prove this and get what I know I can do and what I deserve job wise.

Religion has always been that odd spot for me. I am a Godly man I really am. I know who he is what he is and I know I belong to him, and in so many ways I live it too. But those couple ways I don’t I can’t really change for good. Yea I go through times where I stop them but they always creep back. People who know me real well know I am a Godly man, but that’s not what counts, it’s the people that don’t know me that should see it. And man I have a bad mouth and that’s a dead giveaway for most people. I do what I can to force myself to be better at it and most of the time it means making myself feel guilty about what I do, whatever it takes right?

I don’t have a bad life. It’s actually pretty good. I have some of the best friends a guy could ask for, and have made recently some more great friends. I have a large family base. I have a roof over my head, a car to drive and a job. But my life is shit. I am 25, a part time job, going to school for a job that won’t even really kick off for at least 6-8 years, I am single and have nobody to share my life with, I have debts, I have a situation from my past that I will forever regret, that’s right, I’m talking about you bitch, and I just don’t know what to do to fix it all. I have an idea but that’s all it is, an idea and who knows if it will work?

So what Meat hammer you are not alone in this thousands of people are in the same boat you are and they are optimistic about it. Stop crying like a little bitch. Well you know what I am and I don’t care about thousands of other people.

I like to think that I am one of the most optimistic people around, and I always go for the impossible, and I keep my head up no matter what, and I always have a glass half full but that can only get you so far. I mean after 15 years of trying to have that outlook it only gets you so far. I just want out. I want the good life and I am getting tired of trying to find it. I want a girl in my life; I want a steady job where I don’t have to worry if I will make enough come payday, I want to have more of a Godly life, I want to be that respected man with a good name. What do I have to do to get there? Hopefully I will one day reach that point, and until I do I will keep questioning the world and myself. Why is this so hard?

The Meat Hammer 

Halloween night 2010

So another Halloween come and gone. Hands down the best holiday of the year. This year was awesome, and very special, ranks up in my top 3 Halloweens. Before I get to the fun I have to share what I was a part of this year.

So Anarchy and and Mr. Anarchy have been dating for a while, great guy great couple. Last night while we are starting to get ready for the party, he asks Anarchy if she was wearing any jewelry with her costume. He walked over to her, got down on 1 knee and asked if she would wear this. He opened up a wooden box, and inside was a mutilated finger with a 75 lb rock on it. He asked her to marry him. And with as odd as it sounds, on Halloween, on a cut off finger, it fits perfect for Anarchy. I have known her for a long time, and there is not a thing in this world I wouldn't do for her, and to be apart of that moment last night was nothing short of amazing. To see her face light up the way it did was a great feeling. And of course, she had to pause for a moment, and was in complete shock so she replies, I don't know what to say. Mr. Anarchy of course says, well I hope its a one word, 3 letter answer. She said yes of course. That alone made this Halloween amazing. Now on to the festivities.

I was the Joker this year, and it came out great, I had the clothing from the Dark Knight, but did the face like old school comic book Joker, it turned out amazing. I even had joker cards with writing, blood and fire burns on them. I had a friend who came dressed as Harley Quinn also. Hands down we stole the show. The party was a great blast, and then in the morning, I found my cell phone. We all know where this is going.

So sometime in the night, someone got a hold of my phone, and I saw it had 1 drunk dial and a few drunk texts. O boy... I don't really think anybody needs to many guesses to figure out who it was to. That’s right, the Succubus. I really don't know if I feel bad or not about it. I mean nobody, especially ex's like to get drunk texts from you ex boyfriends friends. On the other hand, its always good when friends get their piece in ya know? Well the texts went something along the lines of you lost out on the Meat Hammer, hes one in a million, he gave it all up for you and all that jazz. The Succubus replied along the lines of I know your drunk but lets grow up and be mature, the greatest thing about it all, was word for word “He made a wrong decision and that was his choice” WOW. Simply wow. Whoever had my phone got the best last word though..... Turtles rock. I loved it. Well in the morning when I found this I did sent an apology text saying sorry that someone contacted her shouldn't have happened, and don't reply because I could give 2 shits what you have to say. So like I said I kinda feel bad that it happened, but the other side of me doesn't really care.

I also have great plans for football Saturday. ESPN College Game Day will be at U of U. Mr. Anarchy can get me a parking spot about a mile away. I think I will go and see the sites, ask Erin Andrews to marry me and possibly if I can find a cheap ticket, go see U of U vs TCU. A big game. Also with football, I have decided I need to save money so I can get to Glendale AZ for the championship game if Auburn goes. If it is that close why not?

And now the parting words... Chex Mix rocks!

The Meat Hammer