Get outta here you old itchy 2010

Man, another year is gone, so many great things happened this year, how do you top a year like 2010? Easily, roll around in a pile of crap then bath in HIV infected liquids while listening to Celine Dion on a constant loop while have mens testicles shoved in your face. Yea, that would be better than 2010.

I am going on a safe limb by saying 2010 was probably the worst year yet.  I threw away a fantastic career. Gave my life to a woman who tossed me away. Took a major pay cut. Left my lil Princes Shitstain behind in Canada. Struggled to get on my own two feet. o yea, and failed on the one thing I always said I would do before turning 26. Yea this year was the worst and at the stroke of midnight tomorrow I will probably be the happiest man alive.

Then end of this year, for the most part, has been a small window to how great my next year will be. Lets start small and move up to the big news. I am back with some of the closest friends I have ever had. I have a steady job where things are going well. I am in school and getting some extra money for that, and going to school for something I see a bright future in. Now to the 2 best parts of my upcoming year. I have met an amazing gal. Specifics are none of your business, so Ill tell you anyways. This relationship seems very different than anything I have had before, mainly because she is nothing like the girl I normally go for. And things seem very positive and look great for us. I think 2011 will bring awesome things in that relationship. And on to the best news yet. Also, just throwin it out there, New Years kiss. Word.

We all know how much I enjoyed my job in the USAF. And when I did live missions, like in Balad AB, down in SEADS before it closed down, and up in CADS for three years was when I was the happiest. When I left that all behind for Succubus I thought that it was gone for good. Well I spoke to a unit here in Mosh Lake and turns out they not only want someone with my past knowledge, but they are in need for someone with my experience. So, pending a signed letter from my CO in the Reserves, I will soon be a proud member of the Guard unit in Mosh Lake. And live missions too, but it gets even better, I will be back in an OM. Now this may be mumbo jumbe to some, so just remember, this is a great thing for me. And icing on the cake, this unit is in harsh need for an EPT, which I have interest in, and since they have none in their unit, I would be trained and head up the EPT section of Ops. Awesome.

SO I am very excited to leave 2010 and all of its suckyness behind for a great new year.

Now moving on to the bad, and hopefully the ONLY bad that will follow me into the new year. (insert RED flag here)So Bama is set to get married next year, one of the three weddings I am due to attend, and one of the two that I am asked to be a part of. I did not approve of the wedding in the first place due to one person being mid/late 20's the other being 50. (insert RED flag here) But I recently learned that there is some serious baggage involved that was not mentioned before. Not only not mentioned but lied about (insert RED flag here) to a lot of people. Turns out one member of this pair is still married. (insert RED flag here) Before I was informed that there had been 2 divorces in the past (insert RED flag here) and Bama would be the third marriage. (insert RED flag here) Now I learned that there is a pending FOURTH, 4th, #4, 4 (and not the fantastic kind), did I mention the number 4 yet? Pending a 4th divorce. (insert RED flag here). Now Bama will be the fifth marriage. (insert RED flag here). I am demanding information and explanations but the ones I am receiving sounds like major BS. Out of what little shred of respect I have for the situation, I will leave explanations out of it all. Now that the story has come I will simply share a short thought...

A man is as good as his word. A mans name is his word, and when that word and name means nothing then that man means nothing. Once that name is not credible it takes a cold day in hell to get it back. It is not impossible but it sure aint easy. Bama, you need to remember this, and think long and damn hard about this before you give ANYBODY in my family that name. I will be damned if a member of MY family carries on a name that is worse than Curtis. Once again out of respect, at least for now I will leave it at this.

Wishing you a great 2011,

The Meat Hammer

This blog was created in spirit of saying what ever the hell I want and that is that. Hence the reason I have access to it, and you do not. After this blog I received a "threatening" email, put in quotes because although that person probably tried real hard, they actually only came off as semi-retarded, and a few other conversations. So here is the re-vision. If this embarrassed you, made you feel shameful, or angered you then maybe you should look at either your life, or look at the cause of it all. Not at the Meat Hammer. Life happens everyday and you need to learn to deal with how it happens. I suppose I will give a mulligan for now, but I warn you all to remember to read warning posts about this blog, because this WILL NOT happen again, 

Welcome to my no nonsense blog. It is uncensored, un-rated, pull out the big guns, and probably offensive to some, and will more than likely piss people off more than once. That is the warning, but that is not the purpose. I am not here to hurt or offend anyone, and for all stories, names WILL be changed for safety reasons, and if you still know its about you, then take it for what it is, and that is nothing more than a form of release for what is on my mind. Enjoy,

The Meat Hammer

Bitter Sweet Christmas

So another year has almost passed us all by. Today is Christmas but it feels like just another Saturday. I am really just doing this issue of the blog because it is 0220 on Xmas morning and we are going to make breakfast for Duff Mil before he goes into work today. We wanted to do something nice for him since he will miss out on breakfast and dinner today.

This has been a hard week for me and family, as not long after my Grandma passed away, 2 days ago my Grandpa did the same. It was a harsh phone call to deal with so close to Christmas. And as bad as I feel about it, and as much as it hurts for me, I can't even imagine how my old man feels, and it hurts even more when I try to think about what he must be going through. To Meat Hammer senior  this is for you.

I think that is part of why it just feels like Saturday to me. On the plus side I have an amazing family here to keep me going. Christmas eve was a great day, I saw Tron with C Bear, which was an amazing film, then exchanged Christmas gifts with the gang, and finished the night off by playing Monopoly with the family, and yes, Shanarchy is still a damn cheat! This just means when we play killer bunnies today, her ass is grass!

With the exception of Grandpa, things have been well. School is done for 2 weeks, and I passed all my classes, my GI Bill money is finally starting to come through, I almost have my truck paid off work just keeps getting better, and I have found an amazing woman to spend my free time with. And surprisingly I am taking it very slow with this one, I like where it is going.

So as it is now time to start cooking for Duff Mill, I will leave this short blog be, but stick around for my year in review. And what a crappy year it was.

RIP Grandpa Meat Hammer,


The Meat Hammer

I say again, why me?

Man, this last year has been a wild ride. For those of you who are close to the Meat Hammer you know what I mean, for those of you who are not in the loop, lets paint a picture... Courtney Love on a constant PMS crack rage after finding out that she really is part dog, part horse and that her twat will never feel anything for as long as she lives. So yea, this past year hasn't really been that awesome for me. A while ago I was having just a bum couple of weeks. I felt emo, and just couldn't get out of a depression rut for some reason, which is nothing like me. I asked many times, why me? When is it my turn? And now today is no different with my questions, just with my meaning.

So the first term of school is coming to an end, and things are well, and as of tonight I am set up for my new classes. Sadly I will miss my second class for my Monday night class because of the Championship game. Lets weigh the options-- Auburn taking the crystal ball from Bama or going to class. Hard choice right?This will be a busy term for me, and will make my life a bit more tight. Taking 4 classes this time around, all on campus.

Work is going good as usual, been able to pick up  more shifts so slowly getting closer to good hours. Hopefully after the holidays I can get a full time slot. Now lets move to the real issue, really, why me?

A lot of crappy things have been thrown my way and I kept asking when will something good happen for me? And now that my life is looking up, I found myself asking, why me? Why is it getting good now? Should I really enjoy it or will it all just fall apart again? I know thats wrong and pretty selfish, but it happens. I have spoken to the Guard recruiter and it looks as though things will happen for me there and be able to get a slot here in Utah very soon, as long as my commander approves it, which I think he will. This is a form of what I wanted, so why am I getting it? I wish I could just take it and be happy. I am sure I will get to that point, its just uncommon of me to not feel that way right away. I have also met someone. A great someone and things seem to be going great over the last month or so. And once again I wonder why is this happening to me?

I made a choice to treat this unlike every way I know how. I look at all my past relationships, at least my long lasting ones and tried to figure out what to do differently before I even get into a relationship. And I think I found a lot of things. Not saying I screwed things up because lets face it, the last 2 women had issues, but I think I can avoid that this time if I stay smart and slow. Thats my plan, just try to enjoy what is coming my way and accept it.

I say all of these things, and sound emo, as a way to motivate myself to stop feeling sorry for myself and be happy with what I am getting in life now. I mean hell, I deserve it don't I? Of course I do. And hopefully knowing that everyone who reads this will think "dude grow a pair of balls and stop feeling sorry for yourself" will make me do just that. We will see what happens.

Christmas is right around the corner, and I am in high spirits for it, until earlier today. I found out that some people close to me are not really feeling that Christmas happiness. Some one is kinda depressed this year because I will not be around for the holidays. They are also realizing that there is a good chance nobody will be around next year. (which will bring me to an angry rant in a moment) I hate it. Things this past week just haven't been good for them.

Now... you know exactly who you are and I think that damn old man needs to get a bit more respect for the family. I call BS that he can not find a job up north. I call you lazy for just giving up and moving south. Your laziness is not going to effect you, or the gramps, but you know who it will? Other family members, your son, and me. Maybe another time I will decide to go in more detail, but for now just know that you are making a terrible mistake and you don't care. How dare you.

Well I will leave this blog at that, and hope that things keep climbing up in life. I have been pretty happy the last few days, I think more than I have been in months. Stay tuned for more updates, same Meat Hammer time, same Meat Hammer channel.


The Meat Hammer

Where am I? Where are you?

Ah man what a week it has been and it is only going up from here, in both good and hard ways. As a short catch up, Thanksgiving day was great. We had a great dinner with a big family and I loved it. After dinner we went sledding. Well kind of, it was more of us sitting on a sled and Burger pulling us to our death and hanging on for dear life. Things have happened this week and opportunities have been presented to me and my life is changing fast here. Where do I start? Don't answer me, this is my blog I will decided, now sit down and enjoy... or go color, whatever.
When I lived in Alabama, I was part of a youth group that was awesome for me. I was in that point of my life where I had a good relationship with the big guy upstairs. Then I moved to Utah, and yea thats when I tasted booze for the first real time, I still had a great relationship because of my church and church family. Then I moved to Canada, or Kennada if you will, and that went down hill. I just didn't have that group of friends, not that there was anything wrong with my friends there. Some of the best a guy could have, but it was a different group. It showed in my life too. Then I moved to Vegas, and I tried to get back on track and it just didn't work,  no matter how many times I hit my knees. And now  I have come full circle and I am back in Utah, and have a new church family, I play in the worship band at church, I am part of the camp again this year, and even my mouth has improved, a lot. This situation plays a huge role in my upcoming life choices, and I will get back to that. This past Monday at home church we spoke about faith, and it was cool because friends of mine there are in the same situation job wise as I am about a big career move, and we spoke about having faith that God has given us this chance. And how whatever job choice you make, if you bring God with you, he will take care and provide for you. I try to keep that in mind in making my choice.

I wanted to go to Washington and continue with my job that I have now in the military. Man I love my job, scope dope, monkey work, whatever you want to say about it, I love it. But I might be giving all of that up for opportunities that might exist in the far future. Talk about having faith right? I am now choosing to toss away the Washington spot and transferring into the Guard here in Utah and cross training into paralegal. Something I know nothing about and don't have a very high interest in, but could really help me in the future with my Criminal justice degree. I also would only drive to Salt Lake instead of getting to California every month which is a pain in the rear end. I also would not leave my support system I have here in Utah, the family and friends I have, the great church and church family and the chances to grow better as a person. I have to make this choice soon, and I am trying to have faith that it is the right choice and God will be there with me.

Other things are happening for me here too. I have been giving guitar lessons to a 15 year old girl, and after only 5 maybe 6 sessions she can play songs and I love it. It is something I really look forward too. I am also still getting attention at work,. The managers are noticing my selling skills, and hopefully soon a full time slot will open for me to grab. I am still fighting for hours but it is a winning battle for me. Football has been in my favor this year as well. A great Iron Bowl win last week just made my Black Friday even better. I watched the game with a hardcore Bama fan like I am an Auburn fan, and we both had our happy and angry times. It was a blast. Now for 1 more game before taking that well deserved crystal ball away from Bama. I am hoping to maybe go to that game in Glendale, but it really relies on my GI Bill money coming in before then. So God, if you really love me, make it happen! Lastly I am getting myself back out there. I have a date this weekend that I am nervous but excited about. No details for anybody right now, even though there are no secrets on here I will wait for the right time. I have not been on an actual date in 4 years. Last real date was with bat shit crazy Natalie, and that wasn't even a real date so probably not since I lived in Utah last time have I had a real date. Scary times. I hope that I am ready to move on with that part of my life. I think I am but time will tell.
 So this week is a busy important week for me, and I am not hoping for the best, because I know I deserve the best and thats what I will get.

"Life could you be a little softer to me? Life can you be more gentle to me? Yea I know, this is a selfish plea because Christ sacrificed his flesh on the cross for me, but this world is hard, its cruel and I wish it would be, softer, softer, softer to me"


The Meat Hammer

Turkey Day Thanks rated E for everyone

So I am sure that everybody who writes a blog is doing a thanksgiving blog, and in the spirit of being non conforming I will do one too. .......... yes you read that right.

Every year my family goes around the table before eating and says what they are thankful for, and in my absence I send a letter for Mrs. Meat Hammer to read, this year was no different, but the letter was. Every year I have so much to be thankful for, but this year is different. I have very few things, but as the saying goes, it is not the quantity but the quality that matters. To the soon mentioned, thank you.

To the Meat Hammer family - Mr and Mrs. Meat Hammer, this has been a bumpy year not only for the two of you but for the 3 of us as well. I am thankful that you are both alive and mostly healthy. Thank you for the support you gave me during my rock bottom time this year. And even though you want me to take different paths in life you stand behind my choices. Sibling Meat Hammer, not only are you an idiot in football, the choosing of good teams, and a  douche bag, I know I have your support as well. And even though we do things that we don't agree on, like quitting a great job and moving across the country for a girl, or getting married to an old man we are a crutch of support. I am thankful you brought the little Meat Hammer into this world. And to the little Meat Hammer I wish you were a little bit older to understand things. Kid you are the world to me and you have no idea. When I was broken to a point that no man should ever be broken, just your smile put me back together. Kid I would go to great lengths for you no matter what the cost and I am glad you are so close with your distant uncle.

To The Meat Hammer second family - Shanarchy, I don't even know how to start words for how thankful I am for you. Just sitting here trying to put the words together brings a tear to my eye. I honestly don't think there are any words to express what I want to say. Thank you for everything, the sacrifices, the love, the support the laughter, the encouragement, the friendship, the move, and for making me a better person just by knowing you. You mean the world to me and you are one of the very few things that kept me going, and at times kept me alive during this year. You are an angel and I will never be able to thank you enough for the many things you helped me with and never had a clue what you were really doing for me. Mr. Archy, I am so glad I have met you. The only impression you had of me was drunk dude in my boxers with a guitar, and you helped me in probably my worst time in life. Since then you have become a good friend of mine, and now a brother in law to me. I thank you for being such a good friend, and so good to Shanarchy. Duff Mil, I was nothing but some dude moving into your house, but you didn't care. We have become good friends when I needed a friend. I look forward to hanging out more and getting closer. Boss Lady, I thank you for getting me my old job back without a wink. When I needed to move and get a job you didn't even think twice you welcomed me back with open arms, and I appreciate it so much. I hope that up until now, and that I will keep impressing you at my job and keep proving how truly thankful I am for it.  To all of my other non mentioned friends that talked me through this year, that have lent me support, that cheered me up, and helped me out, thank you all. My life truly would not be the same without you all. Thank you.

To the Meat Hammer God - Hey God thats a cool name for you, I think we should re-write the Bible what do you say? I am thankful that moving back to Utah brought me closer. My ordeal in hell, aka Vegas, was one of your twisted plans that nobody will ever understand, and in an odd way I thank you for it.  I thank you for the chance to get into a church again and even the chance to play in the worship band. It is helping me with my walk with you. I thank you for the house church you brought me to, it is nice to have a church family again.

I am thankful for having a job, a roof over my head and air in my lungs. I am thankful to just be alive. There is no reason to get into the small details that we are all thankful for this year because they go without saying. And even though I don't have much to be thankful for after this crappiest year of my life, I have the important things, and thats what matters.

From the Myhre Meat Hammer home, I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving, and hope that whatever it is you are thankful for, you do not take it for granted.

The Meat Hammer

Why Me? MA

Ok so it’s time now for another blog. This is something that has been on my mind for a while and I think it’s that kind of thing that after you write about it you feel better. Who knows? So here comes out the “emo” side of me but I don’t really care what you think about it.

Man I really just wonder WTF sometimes about my life.  It just seems so messed up sometimes and I wonder what it is that I am doing wrong in life. I wonder why I don’t have that big money job. I wonder why I’m alone. I wonder why I can’t stay focused on God. I wonder why I am in the position I am in, and I wonder how the hell do I get out of it.

I want to make sure I am clear about this first off; I have many good and close friends who are married with kids, getting married, have great healthy relationships and are happy. Man I love that, and I am happy for them, but to quote Dogma I gotta ask, “When Lord? When is it my turn?” When is my time? I mean this is ridiculous. I am a damn good guy, one of those “good guys” that women complain there aren’t enough of in the world but yet, they always seem to look past me. I am not being egotistical I am being honest. Now what the hell am I doing wrong to not have this kind of happiness in my life? And turns out the girls that I do go after are either bat shit insane, or just pass me up without giving me a real chance. And yes I have heard it before, no worries Meat Hammer there are plenty of fish in the sea. Hey man she is missing out.  Dude, she just was not right for you. It’s her loss. Well no shit it is, I know all of that and it doesn’t help the fact that I am still alone. Everyone has fears. I have a few, aliens of course being the biggest. Those things just creep me out if they are real. I fear being alone. I fear I won’t find her, the one and I will stay alone.  It just aint cool. It’s one of those things that can keep me up at night.  I take peoples advice of waiting and something will come in the past, and well yea something came alright devil women who don’t even have the screws in their head to be loose.

I would be happy with this...

Mo mony mo problems right? That’s what I hear. No money more problems seems more like it. Now let’s not get confused I make enough to get by, and I think soon things will improve for this but not the way I want. What happened to being a kid and thinking yea I can have a good job I can make enough money to be happy and not worry about bills or if I can afford something. I have a part time job at Best Buy, and I am DAMN good at what I do. Always have been when it comes to my job, I take it seriously. Dare I say in my department I am the best if not second best. I deserve something better. I deserve full time. I deserve the hours and maybe a lil more money. I make a decent pay per hour but that means nothing without the hours. I thankfully have a boss who knows how hard I work and knows what I put into it, and they try to get me as much as they can but it’s just not enough. Maybe I am impatient but I wonder what it will take to prove this and get what I know I can do and what I deserve job wise.

Religion has always been that odd spot for me. I am a Godly man I really am. I know who he is what he is and I know I belong to him, and in so many ways I live it too. But those couple ways I don’t I can’t really change for good. Yea I go through times where I stop them but they always creep back. People who know me real well know I am a Godly man, but that’s not what counts, it’s the people that don’t know me that should see it. And man I have a bad mouth and that’s a dead giveaway for most people. I do what I can to force myself to be better at it and most of the time it means making myself feel guilty about what I do, whatever it takes right?

I don’t have a bad life. It’s actually pretty good. I have some of the best friends a guy could ask for, and have made recently some more great friends. I have a large family base. I have a roof over my head, a car to drive and a job. But my life is shit. I am 25, a part time job, going to school for a job that won’t even really kick off for at least 6-8 years, I am single and have nobody to share my life with, I have debts, I have a situation from my past that I will forever regret, that’s right, I’m talking about you bitch, and I just don’t know what to do to fix it all. I have an idea but that’s all it is, an idea and who knows if it will work?

So what Meat hammer you are not alone in this thousands of people are in the same boat you are and they are optimistic about it. Stop crying like a little bitch. Well you know what I am and I don’t care about thousands of other people.

I like to think that I am one of the most optimistic people around, and I always go for the impossible, and I keep my head up no matter what, and I always have a glass half full but that can only get you so far. I mean after 15 years of trying to have that outlook it only gets you so far. I just want out. I want the good life and I am getting tired of trying to find it. I want a girl in my life; I want a steady job where I don’t have to worry if I will make enough come payday, I want to have more of a Godly life, I want to be that respected man with a good name. What do I have to do to get there? Hopefully I will one day reach that point, and until I do I will keep questioning the world and myself. Why is this so hard?

The Meat Hammer 

Halloween night 2010

So another Halloween come and gone. Hands down the best holiday of the year. This year was awesome, and very special, ranks up in my top 3 Halloweens. Before I get to the fun I have to share what I was a part of this year.

So Anarchy and and Mr. Anarchy have been dating for a while, great guy great couple. Last night while we are starting to get ready for the party, he asks Anarchy if she was wearing any jewelry with her costume. He walked over to her, got down on 1 knee and asked if she would wear this. He opened up a wooden box, and inside was a mutilated finger with a 75 lb rock on it. He asked her to marry him. And with as odd as it sounds, on Halloween, on a cut off finger, it fits perfect for Anarchy. I have known her for a long time, and there is not a thing in this world I wouldn't do for her, and to be apart of that moment last night was nothing short of amazing. To see her face light up the way it did was a great feeling. And of course, she had to pause for a moment, and was in complete shock so she replies, I don't know what to say. Mr. Anarchy of course says, well I hope its a one word, 3 letter answer. She said yes of course. That alone made this Halloween amazing. Now on to the festivities.

I was the Joker this year, and it came out great, I had the clothing from the Dark Knight, but did the face like old school comic book Joker, it turned out amazing. I even had joker cards with writing, blood and fire burns on them. I had a friend who came dressed as Harley Quinn also. Hands down we stole the show. The party was a great blast, and then in the morning, I found my cell phone. We all know where this is going.

So sometime in the night, someone got a hold of my phone, and I saw it had 1 drunk dial and a few drunk texts. O boy... I don't really think anybody needs to many guesses to figure out who it was to. That’s right, the Succubus. I really don't know if I feel bad or not about it. I mean nobody, especially ex's like to get drunk texts from you ex boyfriends friends. On the other hand, its always good when friends get their piece in ya know? Well the texts went something along the lines of you lost out on the Meat Hammer, hes one in a million, he gave it all up for you and all that jazz. The Succubus replied along the lines of I know your drunk but lets grow up and be mature, the greatest thing about it all, was word for word “He made a wrong decision and that was his choice” WOW. Simply wow. Whoever had my phone got the best last word though..... Turtles rock. I loved it. Well in the morning when I found this I did sent an apology text saying sorry that someone contacted her shouldn't have happened, and don't reply because I could give 2 shits what you have to say. So like I said I kinda feel bad that it happened, but the other side of me doesn't really care.

I also have great plans for football Saturday. ESPN College Game Day will be at U of U. Mr. Anarchy can get me a parking spot about a mile away. I think I will go and see the sites, ask Erin Andrews to marry me and possibly if I can find a cheap ticket, go see U of U vs TCU. A big game. Also with football, I have decided I need to save money so I can get to Glendale AZ for the championship game if Auburn goes. If it is that close why not?

And now the parting words... Chex Mix rocks!

The Meat Hammer

an update and history lesson 18+

Well time to catch up I suppose, but where to start?

I recently took a short vacation home and that went well. Had a chance to spend quality time with my nephew, and I swear it, that kid loves me more than his mom! I'm OK with that. This kid is just beyond adorable. Spending time with the family was great too. Me and my old man went down to Gods University in Alabama, and no, not the one with a loss this season, Auburn University. We were fortunate enough to watch the game the pushed Auburn to the #1 spot for the first, and certainly not the last time in school history. A while back I mentioned that you look back on times in your life and it gives you this amazing feeling? well this game will do that for me. And while I am on the topic let me bitch about football fans. Since last year it seems everybody is a bandwagon Alabama fan, years before that everyone was a Florida fan, and now I am seeing bandwagon Auburn fans. Well go fuck yourself. Auburn doesn't need you, the fans don't need you and I don't want you. A fan is when you cheer on your team in a 36-0 loss, and when your team has a loosing season, and when your team throws a big game, and when your team jumps to #1. I am an Auburn fan, and I don't want bandwagon fans popping up around the country because of Cam, or Fairley. And lastly about football, we all know that Bama can't stop AU this year. Lets just face the facts. I hope, and I to an extent expect, that the Bama fans would pull for Auburn in the big game. Last year I got shit from people because I wanted Bama to beat Texas. Here is why, I am an Auburn football fans first, and an SEC football fan second. I want the gold in the south because we have the better conference and we deserve it. Bama fans have been very cocky this last year, now I want to see if they know how to be humble.

School is trucking along and going great, made a connection to a homicide detective here in Syracuse, I will be getting with him next week and thats just exciting. It is also Halloween weekend, which as we all know, hands down Halloween is the best holiday of the year. And even though I am not with some recent close friends, I am excited to celebrate it with my best friends in Utah again.

I feel that this post is to average and too "just a read" so I had to find something to make it all up to you...

Fuck. A four letter word that when first introduced in some book meant nothing more than sex.  Now, fuck means anything and everything, you get screwed over then you got fucked. It's an infix to add more meaning or emphasize something, absofuckinglutely. It still means sex, man I fucked her last night. Now since when did it become wrong to say this word? Who decided that this word was bad? And why, as Americans should we listen to one person, or group of people that say this is a bad word don't say it? Well to you censorship people I say fuck you. It is accepted to say sex, and screwed over, and even you're damn right, but replace any of those words with fuck and people look at you like you killed your mother. WELL, as a true American, I use my freedom of speech, and just because a group or people or even one person says it's bad, doesn't make it bad. If a critic says a movie is bad, the whole world doesn't refuse to see it because it's bad. Why can we not take the same attitude to fuck?

food for fucking thought,

The Meat "fucking" Hammer

Get inside the Meat Hammer mind MA18 language

So, I sit here in an airport, tired as hell, hungry because I had no dinner before or after class last night, and had all kinds of things running through my mind over the last 6 or so hours. Since this blog is called the Meat Hammer Mind, I might as well let you in.

So after all of my bitching about the show, and now that it is over I have started watching LOST. I am at the end of season 3, and as Dane Cook so eloquently put it… what the fuck is going on? I have a million new questions! What the fuck? Also just saying women cannot be trusted, LOST has proven this fact again and again.  Also, Juliet is a cunt.

There is a nail saloon in the Atlanta airport right across from me, and even in an airport its all Asians, and they are just standing outside the door waiting for someone to come in. When I get off a plane the first thing I think of is how my nails look, and for Gods sake if I don’t get them done my life is over. But Meat Hammer, what about your bags? Bags? Fuck bags my nail is chipped! Wait its not all Asians there is a dude there, he must be gay.

You ever wonder what people are thinking about as they rush through an airport? I bet at least 20 people I see are “away on business” to screw someone other than their wife/husband.  Whores.

I was asked last night in class if I would be able to go 1 full week without making a sexist comment or joke, and I got to wondering if I could really bite my tongue?  I mean most the time I say them just for fun, except for the driver jokes, women should not get behind the wheel. Period. But I wonder if I really could, maybe I should try this, but I need a witness. Anarchy will do it for me. She can slap me if I slip up.

They are giving out flu shots at the airport… safe or no?

Ha, bastard in an LSU shirt just walked by, I hope he slips on the escalator.

So with as excited as I am about the football game this weekend I am equally if not maybe a smidge more about 2 things. Firstly my nephew, man I love that kid to death. I would cut off my left ball for that rascal. He absolutely is a joy for me, man I was in the worst spot a man could be in last time I saw him, and as soon as that kid jumped in my arms, succubus went away the whole weekend. There is something about him that just melts my heart. Best damn nephew a guy could have! Secondly is my old man. Awww shit now the Hammer is getting serious.

My family is crazy, just bat shit insane, but I think that’s what keeps us together. And even though at times I would toss them to a rabid raccoon, I kinda do love them and enjoy them. My old man is having a real rough time right now. And I pray with everything I got that this weekend he forgets about life and just enjoys himself. I don’t get much time alone with my pops when I go home, and I don’t think he really knows how important that time is to me. Even just a drive to the store. It’s great. I don’t think there is anything I can’t tell him. I even screen things through him before I tell anyone else in the family. And he knows he can do the same. And there is something about our relationship, if him and mom wanted to tell me something I don’t want to hear, if he tells me I am so much more rational about it, if mom told me the same thing I would probably get pissed. Meh, long story short here, I think I will enjoy my old man this weekend more than I will an Auburn victory. I hope I can do him some good this weekend.

Dumb lazy ass people in the carts, I hate those things. If you can’t get to your gate on your own, don’t fly. Unless you’re old, but then, don’t fly. Most old people smell.

Why the hell are there signs all over saying “free Wi-Fi” when you have to pay for the shit. Idiots. Seeing as this is the case, this blog will now not be posted as I sit in the airport but a little bit later.

Man in a white dress robe thingy. Probably religious but he looks like a tool.

Fat dude in a Tennessee shirt, man they suck this year.

                  

I have the most random mind, I can’t even keep a thought, and I am glad that I have invited you into the Meat Hammer’s mind today.  Also I have rediscovered Staind this morning while writing this nonsense. Their older stuff kicked ass.

Going for the Hat Trick

Score #1 - vacation
So I will be taking a few days this week for vacation. I have great fun plans for it too. I will be flying home on Thursday to see the family and get some pictures taken with the family and some updated Auburn pictures with my nephew. I am also excited just to see that little kid. I have promised him an awesome toy if he behaves in school, and for the most part he has so we have some shopping to do. Second to that with his birthday coming up I get to get his bday present, a really cool Buzz Lightyear that dances and all kinds of cool stuff. He will be so happy. Next plans on the vacation is a very important game this season for Auburn. Me, the Auburn Gator,  Miss Dixie and my old man will be in Auburn for the tiger bowl. This game is huge for us this year and I have high hopes of a win. This leads me into goal #2.

Score #2 - Fuck the BCS
I have said for years now how messed up the BCS system is, and I get arguments on both sides of the story. I still say the system is flawed. And yes, this is the start of my football rant. OU is #1, which seems a little bit out of place to me but not as bad as #2 and 3 which are good teams, but not so worthy of the ranks. Auburn is 4th which is the highest we have been since 06, with plenty of time to get to 1 or 2. Here are my thoughts....
OU has only played 2 ranked teams this year against now #17 and 19, yes they won so they should be ranked high but not #1. Oregon has only played 1 ranked team at now #9 and the only ranked game to come is #18. Not a schedule worthy of being #2. Boise, this is a rough one, I have mad respect for Boise. They are a great team and can play great football. The only thing going against Boise is the schedule, its not that tough when your talking about the BCS.The win against VT was a great one, but when VT starting stumbling this year that game lost all credibility. Which brings me to Auburn getting shafted at #4. Personally I think they should be #2 or 3. At least jumping Boise at 3. Lets again look at the schedule, we have played 2 ranked teams this year, and have 2 more big ones to go, #6 LSU this weekend and #8 Bama end of the season.  Now assuming we beat LSU I would think the BCS ratings would put us at 3, jumping Boise after their cupcake game this weekend. Then if we run the table and beat Bama then there is no reason Auburn should not be #1, topping OU mainly because of schedule strength. I would call OU and AU to be in the big game this year with AU #1 and OU #2. This would be interesting since some family of mine graduated from OU and are big OU fans. There is a lot of football to be played and hopefully it is not a 2004 repeat.

Score #3 - The Hat Trick down memory lane
So you know those songs, or smells, or items that bring your mind back to an awesome time, a fun memory that just makes you smile? I have had a lot of those lately. Earlier today I was listening to Hollywood Undead and thought of my trip to Toronto with Grumpy, Wisers and The Nerd for the concert. I got this amazing feeling of just calmness and happiness. I miss times like those. It got me to thinking that this happens to me a lot and I love it. Its memories like those that let me know I have great friends and am living a great life. And when I have those moments where I am so beyond happy that I get the chills, and even 2 or 3 times before get a little watery in the eyes because I am so happy, it makes me feel good to be alive. So I just wanna say to all of my Canadian friends, thanks for the fun times and memories, and as the snow will begin to fall here, it will bring back even more memories of goin down the hill to Macs and Timmies, trips to Sudbury and Toronto, drinking in the snow and many more times that I am thankful for you guys and I miss you all!

Game Over,

The Meat Hammer

Meat Hammer Times

Well what a week this has been. Just thought I would take a bit of time to fill in the blanks here. I started school this week, first time walking into a classroom environment in 7 years. Exciting and lame all at the same time. But I feel this term will be fairly easy. Intro to Criminal Justice will just be fun and interesting, mass communication is just common sense and film in society, I get to watch cool movies every week. And people say school sucks.

I have also started making friends/enemies at work already and I am only 3 weeks in. But I knew this would happen and really they can just piss off. One individual specifically was "creeped out" because I did my job and asked them to take off their jacket so I can check the pockets before they left and asked to check their bag. Apparently this is a creepy thing. Turns out they spoke with some of their leadership about it and got all butt hurt over it. I am thinking it may be a misunderstanding because over the last 4 years, my old store has gone to shit. People not only don't do their jobs, they don't know the rules of the job either. I am making big waves there and some people are getting annoyed. Well suck it up buttercup, you are there for 8 hours to work, not to be a lazy ass. On the plus side, with the help of Boss Lady, I am finally going back to the sales floor. This is exciting because I love to talk to people, and if I remember correctly, which I do because I am a man and a man is never wrong, I was damn good at my job. However I am not to sure my new supervisor is as excited as me. I think I will lay low in the new department for a few weeks and see how everyone works, then follow up with my suggestions and form my opinions then. Probably not a good thing to walk in with preconceived ideas.

Football football football. Fuck I love football. I held back on most trash talking this weekend but now I gotta pull it out. 29 wins in a row nobody gives a fuck. I have said for 2 years now that Alabama football is overrated, they have holes and its just a matter of time before someone exposes them. 3 weeks ago that happened, and this past weekend, they ate it. Finally Bama went down and will hopefully knock every thick headed Bama fan down with them. On the plus side of that, the team that beat Bama, lost to Auburn. Yea thats right. WAR DAMN EAGLE! And in 2 more weeks me and my old man will be going to the Tiger Bowl. I kinda feel bad for him because I don't want him to feel out of place that weekend but I fear he might. We will drive to Auburn on Friday  and meet with some of my friends for a tailgate on Saturday. I am sure pops will enjoy that, hanging out with a high school friend Dixie and miss Auburn Gator, having some beer and just swapping stories, drinking and goofing off until the game. And my old man has some funny stories to tell. As far as I know he hasn't been to a college football game before though which is real cool that I can go with him to his first. And its cool to be able to have a guy weekend. Then after the game when Auburn becomes the only unbeaten in the SEC, he will probably go get sleep for the drive home on Sunday while I go roll Toomers corner and drink some more.

Life after succubus is great too. I am back to normal, more normal than I thought I would be.  I have found a "date" for Halloween night, just a friend from work but at least I still get to do my Batman idea. I will be the Joker and she will be Harley Quinn. I am more than excited for this. I have also been talking to cop the last couple of weeks, and if things fall into place I might be able to get her to Halloween night also. Nothing real big but enjoyable to get back out there. She was lucky enough to go to Boise State this weekend for the game, and the sweetheart she is took a picture of that glorious blue field and sent it to me. I was jealous.

Life has just been plugging along here and although my life seems care free and fun, events of the recent past are not forgotten. A very nice service was held for Mrs.Washington this past week, still praying for Mr. Washington and LSU's dad is still hanging in there but sadly not looking up. Another relative is making some major health changes after this week and I really hope it helps. I really look up to this guy and would be in a lost world without him, so Texas you better do more than look at pretty girls at the gym!

Well now that we are all up to date I will leave you with this spectacular set of numbers...

35-21

The Myhre Meat Hammer

US Military 18+

So this past weekend I spent in Norfolk VA. It was a fun, heartbreaking and amazing experience. Which leads into why I am blogging about the US Military. While in Norfolk I went to Yorktown and walked on the battle grounds that secured what we now call America.

We walked in the trenches, and tried to imagine what it was like laying down in the trenches, looking over just enough to see the battleground, firing mortars and cannons and rifles and how it must have felt to know that if you lost this battle, you very well could have lost America. Just beside the battle ground we saw one of many graveyards. As we entered one of the first stones we saw read "one unknown soldier". This tore at the heartstrings, as we walked we saw many names, and where they were from. Most from the New York infantry. Further in we saw stones that read "two unknown soldiers" and "three unknown soldiers" This was a hard thing to see. As we walked further the pride and sorrow swelled in my body.
The US military is the same today as it was so many years ago. Today, brothers and sisters in arms are fighting for America just as we continuously have since the start of our military. Most of America supports our troops which they damn well should. I can remember a time shortly after my desert tour having a welcome home lunch thrown for me, and this little kid, had to be like 5 or something, loved to play "soldier". He had a little toy gun he would run around with. Him and his mom came up to me and she knelt down and told her son "that is the man who just fought in the war". This little kid snapped to attention like he had just left Basic Training and threw his hand against his forehead to salute me. One of my proudest moment sin the Air Force. But that is the way America should be, they should remember that without the military, all branches, America would not be here. And for the most part, it is. But there are those people, the ones who think we are baby killers, that we are just war hungry, and violent.
Thankfully I have not been in a situation where someone bashes the military in front of me, I really don't know how I would react. But these people who say terrible things and have no respect for us they don't realize that millions of us have died for the to have the right to be such cocksuckers. We are fighting a war today and in years past so that they are free to say whatever they want, but these bastards don't realize without us, they would be speaking French, or German, or be slaves. These heartless, soulless, gutless ass fucks don't deserve to be in America. Fuck their opinion, its not needed, I would care less if all of these selfish fucks died, America would be better off. Now, all of this said, there are many people who support the troops with all of their heart, but not the war. This can be for many reasons flawed or not. And these people may not even support our leadership in the great land. But at least they are smart enough to know that without the military, they would not have the freedom and the right to think that.
I have many friends who are in the service of every branch, and with as bias as we all are about our specific branch, no branch would be where they are without the sister branches. This is proven everyday by all of the joint operations. And even though every service member is not on the front lines with a weapon, there are some in safe places fighting a war, or even sitting in an office on the home front, with out all of them working together we would not be who we are today, and everyone of them would give their life to save this great country.
To all my brothers and sisters in arms, to all of the fallen from the very first bullet of the very first war, to every veteran, to every injured member lying in a stretcher, I thank you. You will never be forgotten by me, or by America. God bless you and America.

The Meat Hammer

"Meat Hammer, why are you _____?" None of your fucking business thats why! MA 18+

SO I have wanted to do something like this for a long time, because I get a lot of questions about certain things that I do, say, like, or act like. Well it really isn't any of your damn business, but what the hell I'll tell you anyways.
Meat Hammer, why are you such a big Auburn fan if you never went there?
Well let me explain something to you non southern folk. College football is not a sport, it is not just a game to watch , it isn't just entertainment. In the south, football is a religion, marriages, friendships, and households are broken up over football. Major events are not held on Saturday because of football. So when I moved to Alabama I was in 6th grade and could give two shits about football but I was asked if I was a Bama or an Auburn fan. Well hell I didn't know so I went home and looked at the two teams colors and liked Orange and Blue better. Years later and even more so over the last 5 or so years I have gotten really big into football, and know for a fact I chose the better team. Fuck you Bama.

Meat Hammer, why are you always so damn happy and energetic?
Well I actually don't know for a fact, I have many theories. Despite my sailor mouth I am a God fearing man, and I know he lives in me so that makes me happy. I am naturally optimistic so I always look for the better of things and the good in people. Probably why I always get shat on in life. I hardly ever see the glass half empty because I know life could always be worse. Besides, what is being angry and worried about life really going to do for you? Exactly, so stop hating your daddy, get off the damn stripper pole and get a real job. Well on second thought, stay on the pole and hate your daddy, that entertains me.

Meat Hammer, why do you like Linkin Park so much?
Well this is probably the easiest question for me to answer. Believe it or not I was probably the most unpopular kid in school. I was called gay until my senior year when people started growing up. None of the cool kids liked me, I had very few friends, which was nice but at the time I just wanted to be the cool kid. Well on a JNROTC trip my buddy Dirtface and I picked up the debut CD by LP. I loved it, fell in love with every song, and thought that some songs fit my life perfectly, and to this day, A Place For My Head is my favorite song. And since then everything they have put out has somehow fit my life. And anytime I was sad, depressed, hurt, angry, and just in a dark spot I could listen to LP and everything would melt away. I am a music guy always have been, and LP just filled that hole for me. I have only been in 1 situation in life where LP did not make things better right away, but after sometime, it was eventually a song by them that brought me out of it. I am forever loyal to them and am super glad that their music does what it does to me.

Meat Hammer, why do you date crazy ass bitches?
Fuck if I know

 Meat Hammer, won't you regret your tattoos one day?
Hell no, they kick ass. If I didn't want them I would not have gotten them. Every single tattoo I have means something to me, some more than others but they have deep meaning to me so piss off if you don't like them.

Meat Hammer, when will you grow up?
Fuck you

Meat Hammer, are you gay?
Yea I love the cock. Dumbass. No I am not gay, I am a naturally happy person.  I have an eccentric personality, and get easily excited. I do not see how that makes me gay. this one probably pisses me off the most because of my high school years.

Meat Hammer, when will you stop collecting dolls?
First off, they are not dolls, but collectible figurines and statues.  Every one has a hobby, 1 of mine is collecting figurines. I have a family member who is much older than I am who has a large collection of items from his childhood, and never once did I think he needed to grow up for it. Its what I like, it makes me happy, who are you to say I should stop. We all have something strange, childish, crazy or dumb that we like. This is mine.

Meat Hammer, when will you stop cussing?
When they are no longer considered curse words. Also what the fuck is wrong with fuck? It means sex,  is sex a curse word? No! Yea we use fuck in different ways but who is the almighty douche bag that said fuck is a bad word. I think I will research this and let you all fine readers know.  Also, its a fun word.

So there, that is me, and because I am a nice guy, if I missed a question that  you would like answered, go ahead and leave a comment, I will get back to you with an honest answer about why I am who I am. This is me, I changed things about myself for people in the past and that was dumb. Go eat a marshmallow.

The Meat Hammer

Rescue success, Utah life

So, I sit here with nothing to do at 0337 waiting to go to work by 0600. Why am I still up you may wonder, well let me begin my tale of the rescue.
Things were almost perfect last weekend. My best friends got to Vegas in the morning and we took advantage of the day by hitting the strip and making the best of the time we had. That Friday night we had the whole apartment loaded in the UHAUL and ready to go. Saturday was an easy day, ending with watching Auburn play Clemson at BJ's. The drive home on Sunday was nice, a good 6+ hours talking with C Bear. By Tuesday I was 95% unpacked and settled in. So far the job is great, part time hours as it was 4 years ago, instead of the 17-20 a week im able to rack in about 35. Good times, will help to pay off the car and get things rolling. In other news, I am finally enrolled in school, Broadview University for criminal justice. Time to rack in that post 9/11 GI Bill and Yellow Ribbon money. I have been enjoying being back home, seeing old friends, making new ones and loving life. Tonight, probably the best night since being home. We met up at Iggys for the Auburn game, very enjoyable, and a great win, then came home and starting the drinking fest with Million, Anarchy, Homewrecker and the Big Guy. After multiple drinks we headed down to the man cave for some Band Hero, nothing like a drunk rock fest on the XBOX. We decided it was time for bed around 0230, and I had to be up for work at 0445. Pointless to go to bed so here I am awake and waiting to go to work for 4 hours.
Moving on to some more important stuff....
With as great as life is getting to be here, the past still lingers. Thankfully I am level headed enough to not make drunk phone calls anymore, or Succubus might have gotten a wake up call this morning. There were so many things left unsaid and I know I will never get those answers, and to an extent it really bothers me. At other times, I feel she can just go fuck herself for all I care, and one day, as LP so fantastically put it, she will swim through the smoke of bridges she has burned, and nobody will apologize because she has lost what she didn't deserve. I wonder now how long it will take for me to get from 90% over her to 100%. So now the bigger problems and decisions come into focus. I need to continue to plan out my 3rd time is a charm idea. I am left with 2 options, get a better car, start to get on my feet and move to Washington, or stick it out in Utah for a little over a year- 1 1/2 and get my degree, get well off on my feet them, move to Washington. Whatever the Reserves say to me this weekend will be a major player in that.
All that said I am more happy than I have been in the last 8 months, I am with family and friends, plenty of support around me, plenty of love, and plenty of fun, compared to giving up my life for someone who could give 2 shits. I am well on my way, and other than being too tired to go to work in 25 minutes I haven't a grip in the world. Stay tuned for next time, when I explain a few things about who and why I am the way I am. FTW and WAR DAMN EAGLE!

Rescue Mission: The Succubus MA 18+

Succubus - A female demon supposed to descend upon and have sexual intercourse with a man while he sleeps. An evil spirit; a demon.


Succubus


Every rescue mission has a cause, a purpose and a result. This is no different. My rescue mission is under way in the upcoming days, here is why. 
The Cause
We all know Susan, and we all know the past of Susan, but lets briefly re-cap. I met Susan almost 7 years ago. She was perfect, and we had great times. Because of my career I would have to move away so it caused break up problems. Long story short, we were on and off for a few years, but always said when the time comes, we will make it happen. Early this year, that time came. Some things changed, Susan had a child, and a friendly relationship with the father. Nothing I couldn't over come. I moved to the 9th circle of hell for her, and just as if I died and went to hell, left everything in my other life behind for her. 


After the first 2-3 weeks of moving, I knew things were going downhill but refused to acknowledge it. The Succubus was revealing herself. Susan has some deep anger issues, and the slightest word or movement would set them off. She was selfish with her time and refused to give anything into a relationship. Gather round kiddies, its story time.


We all know that women are terrible drivers, and no body in their right mind should give a woman a drivers license, this is a fact, and Susan is the perfect example of this. I recall a night on the strip when her friends came to town. She insisted on driving to the casino bar. During this trip, on a crowded street, with no blinkers, no slowing down, crosses multiple lanes, causes multiple cars to slam on their brakes beside and behind us almost getting into 3 accidents on the short 10 minute drive. During this drive, a car pulls up beside us and throws things at our car for almost killing them. And how dare you be the one to bring this type of actions to her attention. During a trip home one night, we stop for food. While turning off the highway and onto a main road, she turns onto oncoming traffic, instead of our lane. Naturally I grab the  O SHIT handle and say what the hell are you doing? *anger trigger* a few moments later after some not kind words, I get the "Fuck you, I am sick of people telling me I cant drive, I fucking hate you." This continues until we arrive home. As you can imagine both of us are angry now, one more than the other I assure you. I get out of the death mobile throw the food on the ground and start to leave. That didn't last long when a glass shattered in the road behind me. Damn Succubus. 


Time goes on and things get worse, constant fighting over dumb things like, we like different flavors of ice cream, you check CNN to much, you are an immature child who plays video games and reads batman. So we would have talks about how to fix things. They all went about the same, this is what bothers me, this is how we can fix it, you do this Ill do that kind of thing. And let me tell ya, I changed a lot of things. I cut back on playing my "childish" video games. Spent almost every night at her place to spend more time with her. Took on household responsibilities, (but yes I am still a man and had my times of putting off the trash or leaving some clothes around for a few days. Sue me, it fucking happens) cleaned her nasty ass house top to bottom while she was on vacation. Even cut back on my truthful woman jokes because they bothered her. The conversation would go both ways, she would agree to stop showing the demon inside when I got up to get a drink, or would suggest domino's pizza over a 30$ pizza somewhere else. She never changed. 


You see,  a relationship is a give and take, and not a 50/50, but a 100/100 give and take. This turned into a 150/5 relationship. Now it wasn't all bad, ya know, Susan did a lot of things to help me out, I mean, I had no car, no house, no friends, no family, little money, no job... because ya know, I sacrificed things for her. That equals her 5% to the relationshit. Yes, that is what it was. As you can see, this is a good cause to be rescued. But blind ole Meat Hammer didn't get the point.


One of the many times I was called immature and childish- A late evening while Susan was sitting on the couch doing her homework I decided to flip through TV and see what I can find. And something great I did find, the original, live action Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles movie. Now can you show me one mid 20 year old man that would not LOVE to watch that movie? Its from your childhood, they were icons when you were little, and remembering the past is a great thing sometimes. So I settle into the chair and get comfy for my movie. About 10 minutes in she look at me and asks, "what the hell are you watching?" I tell her and she scoffs, then tells me I am immature and should watch adult shows, and adult movies. This coming from the "mature" girl who will sit down and watch ABC Family and Disney shows meant for 10 year old little girls. And no, not with her child, but when she is alone. Now you tell me, which is worse?

I continued to try and make things work, even after I was told "I do not love you". Turns out that Susan has no idea what it is to be loved, or love, or be in a relationship. She is very selfish, despite what grandeurs she has in her head, and does not really care who she steps on to get her way. The final straws came when I once again attempted to open up to her and put a nice close to it all, and received nothing more than a smart ass  fuck you in return. Now since then I have some information, some that nobody knows I have. I know what she is doing, and who she is doing it with. And the things I know make me feel used, in ways that no man should ever be used. So no Succubus, there won't be a morning after, and you can just go fuck yourself. 


The Purpose
This weekend, Anarchy, Chocolate, and Anarchies better half are entering the 9th circle of hell to rescue me. This weekend I move up north to get back on my feet and get my happy life back. I somehow, survived the Succubus, and it wasn't by playing  Maureen McGovern's "Morning After" backwards. I am thankful to have friends like them, who even after telling me long ago, don't do it Meat Hammer, its no good, it will end bad, she is an ex for a reason, they will still come to my rescue. I love you guys and cant wait to be apart of the Ohana again. 


The Result
This is yet to be seen, but refer to my earlier post 3rd Time is a Charm, or bad things come in threes? for that. 


So as you might guess, yes, This makes me angry, but I'm not always angry about it. I look back and know that there were good times, and this was a learning experience, and even though Susan is a Succubus, Her family was not. And for that I am extremely thankful. I think that I have moved on as much as any man can, there will always be that slither of what was, and it will never go away. And there will be times that I will still get angry at the situation, and angry at Susan, and dream of a day that I can confront her face to face and give her a piece of the Meat Hammer's mind. But the high road is a hard one to take, and as of right now, I am looking down on her from miles above. 


Fuck you, you good for nothing, selfish, lying, manipulative, cold hearted, shitty sandwich making, shitty woman driver, time wasting, bottom of the barrel succubus. (ok, so I may have fell down a few miles on that one, but shit happens.)




*Just for fun, a few songs that will always make me smile and thing about Susan when I hear them*
Gives You Hell
Waiting for the End
Pray for You

The dirty "D" 18+

Perverts...

So I have many things that I want to get off my chest and share with you all, but this one seems as though it should come first. Lets talk about death. it fucking sucks, period.
I have lost people in the past, friends from high school, friends from military service, friends from child hood, family members, suicide, cancer, and people that I barely knew. They are gone and that is it, nothing more to it. It still sucks. I don't truly wish death on any man, and the one I do, is no man, nor a woman, he is an incarnate of the evil bastard down below. But even then, I think of the people that death would effect, and even though I could care less what happens to them, it still sucks.  What do you say to a friend who is losing a parent figure? I love you. I am here for you. I'll pray for you. thats about it, and yes those words help in the slightest, but that person would be just as well if they were never said.

To LSU, I love you, I am here for you, I will continue to pray for you.

A family received a bad notification this week. An elderly woman, who has been in bad shape health wise for some time got worse, and no real sign of anything getting better. The family is now in that time frame of trying to mentally prepare themselves for a loss. Well, we all know thats bull shit because there is no way to do that. but to that family I want you all to know, that death happens, and all you can do is try to be a peace with it, and keep talking to the big guns upstairs, because no matter how shitty his plans for us may be sometimes, he has a good head on his shoulder, and knows what he is doing. I love you, I am here for you, and I will continue to pray for you.

The thought of death does not go away. I have a dear friend, and Anarchy will never forget her loss. This death was beyond close to her, and every year, she will remember nothing but good times. I have a few people from my past that I will never forget who died. 1 of which was blood related, the other few were friends, or people I considered my family. The biggest cause of this, cancer. *Dear cancer, you are a dirty, worthless cunt, who does nothing but tear the world away from people on this earth. I pray that you fall down a bottomless pit, and as you fall, see bits of food that are just out of your reach so you starve, and slam against the walls that are laced with AIDS, and the heat of the pit brings on 3rd degree burns, and your only point of life is to fall, but never die. fuck you. Love, The Meat Hammer* Some were of suicide, due to the financial and relationship problems of life, or military stress. I love you, I am here for you, You will be in my prayers.

Some deaths are just unexplained accidents, such as falling off a ladder. Once again, God, you do some screwed up things to us, but in the end, we know you had a reason that we just will never understand. To you Hazel Green, I love you, I am here for you, and I will continue to pray for you.

We have all dealt with death in our past so you can all relate, and deny as you will, but at one point we all stand and scream what the fuck God, why? What the hell were you thinking? How dare you? You love me my ass, and by god, that works... for 5 minutes. I have done it, and for more things than just death. So let me get to the point. Yes death sucks, and you will hide in your own little spot on this earth and you will cry, be angry, be depressed, laugh it off, remember, then cry again.  But death is not the end of the world. Man, I am a cold hearted bastard, but its true, and sometimes the truth is the worst to hear. I hope that with all that is in me, that Washington will carry on, and that God will tell you that its not the end of the world. Yes, the second half of you may be gone physically, but they are never really gone. You are loved, we are hear for you, and we will continue to pray for you.

I love you, I will miss you, and I will always pray for us.

The Meat Hammer

3rd Time is a Charm, or bad things come in threes?

For most people, they plan out their lives right after high school. Most have a back up plan in case that fails. Half the time, when they reach a mid life crisis or God forbid the unimaginable happens, they re-plan their life for a second time, but no man should have to plan his life for a third time.
When I graduated high school, I had a life plan with a few "maybes" mixed in. That was to join the great United States Air Force, retire at 38, and get a second career, with the fall back of, get out after 6 years and go to school. Well during my time in, even though times were rough in the middle, I decided this is what I need to do. 20 years, retire, then a new career in either surveillance or security. Almost two years ago, my thought process changed and I started to plan out my life for the second time in only 6 years. Obviously this is not good.
I received a phone call from a girl in my past, Susan. We had talked from time to time over the 6 years, dated on and off, and always said that if the time came, then one day, we will be together for good. Well that time came. I decided to change my life plans. Leave the USAF after 6 1/2 years, join the USAF Reserves, settle down, and get the family I have been wanting the last two years.This was a not a spur of the moment choice mind you, Susan and I had multiple conversations about this and we both decided this was it. My life was planned, and I am finally entering the last major thing for my life, a wife, children, a family. Saving this story for another time, that second plan did not work. I am now 25 years old, I have some university under my belt, 16 credits away from a Community College of the Air Force (CCAF) degree, little to no savings, do not own one item of value, no wife and kids, no real job, claiming unemployment just to survive, and a fairly uncertain future.
They say the third time is a charm, well lets put that to the test.

1. Retire from the USAF at 38; start new career - FAIL
2. Find nice girl, settle down and start a family, build a new life - FAIL
3. Get on my feet, re-join military, settle down, start family ???? - My Charm 

So here I am, two of my closest friends embarking on a rescue mission to save me from the ninth circle of hell of Las Vegas, and bringing me to the first circle of hell in Layton Utah. A job at an electronics store, and attending one semester of school at a community college simply to get some extra money. I will start the process of yet again getting in the military, for the third time in 7 years, and go Active Guard in Washington state. Doing what I love, and build my third life. Start of 2011 will be the end point to see if this third change will really be my charm, or if I prove true to the saying of bad things come in threes. 

The Meat Hammer