Man, this last year has been a wild ride. For those of you who are close to the Meat Hammer you know what I mean, for those of you who are not in the loop, lets paint a picture... Courtney Love on a constant PMS crack rage after finding out that she really is part dog, part horse and that her twat will never feel anything for as long as she lives. So yea, this past year hasn't really been that awesome for me. A while ago I was having just a bum couple of weeks. I felt emo, and just couldn't get out of a depression rut for some reason, which is nothing like me. I asked many times, why me? When is it my turn? And now today is no different with my questions, just with my meaning.
So the first term of school is coming to an end, and things are well, and as of tonight I am set up for my new classes. Sadly I will miss my second class for my Monday night class because of the Championship game. Lets weigh the options-- Auburn taking the crystal ball from Bama or going to class. Hard choice right?This will be a busy term for me, and will make my life a bit more tight. Taking 4 classes this time around, all on campus.
Work is going good as usual, been able to pick up more shifts so slowly getting closer to good hours. Hopefully after the holidays I can get a full time slot. Now lets move to the real issue, really, why me?
A lot of crappy things have been thrown my way and I kept asking when will something good happen for me? And now that my life is looking up, I found myself asking, why me? Why is it getting good now? Should I really enjoy it or will it all just fall apart again? I know thats wrong and pretty selfish, but it happens. I have spoken to the Guard recruiter and it looks as though things will happen for me there and be able to get a slot here in Utah very soon, as long as my commander approves it, which I think he will. This is a form of what I wanted, so why am I getting it? I wish I could just take it and be happy. I am sure I will get to that point, its just uncommon of me to not feel that way right away. I have also met someone. A great someone and things seem to be going great over the last month or so. And once again I wonder why is this happening to me?
I made a choice to treat this unlike every way I know how. I look at all my past relationships, at least my long lasting ones and tried to figure out what to do differently before I even get into a relationship. And I think I found a lot of things. Not saying I screwed things up because lets face it, the last 2 women had issues, but I think I can avoid that this time if I stay smart and slow. Thats my plan, just try to enjoy what is coming my way and accept it.
I say all of these things, and sound emo, as a way to motivate myself to stop feeling sorry for myself and be happy with what I am getting in life now. I mean hell, I deserve it don't I? Of course I do. And hopefully knowing that everyone who reads this will think "dude grow a pair of balls and stop feeling sorry for yourself" will make me do just that. We will see what happens.
Christmas is right around the corner, and I am in high spirits for it, until earlier today. I found out that some people close to me are not really feeling that Christmas happiness. Some one is kinda depressed this year because I will not be around for the holidays. They are also realizing that there is a good chance nobody will be around next year. (which will bring me to an angry rant in a moment) I hate it. Things this past week just haven't been good for them.
Now... you know exactly who you are and I think that damn old man needs to get a bit more respect for the family. I call BS that he can not find a job up north. I call you lazy for just giving up and moving south. Your laziness is not going to effect you, or the gramps, but you know who it will? Other family members, your son, and me. Maybe another time I will decide to go in more detail, but for now just know that you are making a terrible mistake and you don't care. How dare you.
Well I will leave this blog at that, and hope that things keep climbing up in life. I have been pretty happy the last few days, I think more than I have been in months. Stay tuned for more updates, same Meat Hammer time, same Meat Hammer channel.
The Meat Hammer
No comments:
Post a Comment