SO I have wanted to do something like this for a long time, because I get a lot of questions about certain things that I do, say, like, or act like. Well it really isn't any of your damn business, but what the hell I'll tell you anyways.
Meat Hammer, why are you such a big Auburn fan if you never went there?
Well let me explain something to you non southern folk. College football is not a sport, it is not just a game to watch , it isn't just entertainment. In the south, football is a religion, marriages, friendships, and households are broken up over football. Major events are not held on Saturday because of football. So when I moved to Alabama I was in 6th grade and could give two shits about football but I was asked if I was a Bama or an Auburn fan. Well hell I didn't know so I went home and looked at the two teams colors and liked Orange and Blue better. Years later and even more so over the last 5 or so years I have gotten really big into football, and know for a fact I chose the better team. Fuck you Bama.
Meat Hammer, why are you always so damn happy and energetic?
Well I actually don't know for a fact, I have many theories. Despite my sailor mouth I am a God fearing man, and I know he lives in me so that makes me happy. I am naturally optimistic so I always look for the better of things and the good in people. Probably why I always get shat on in life. I hardly ever see the glass half empty because I know life could always be worse. Besides, what is being angry and worried about life really going to do for you? Exactly, so stop hating your daddy, get off the damn stripper pole and get a real job. Well on second thought, stay on the pole and hate your daddy, that entertains me.
Meat Hammer, why do you like Linkin Park so much?
Well this is probably the easiest question for me to answer. Believe it or not I was probably the most unpopular kid in school. I was called gay until my senior year when people started growing up. None of the cool kids liked me, I had very few friends, which was nice but at the time I just wanted to be the cool kid. Well on a JNROTC trip my buddy Dirtface and I picked up the debut CD by LP. I loved it, fell in love with every song, and thought that some songs fit my life perfectly, and to this day, A Place For My Head is my favorite song. And since then everything they have put out has somehow fit my life. And anytime I was sad, depressed, hurt, angry, and just in a dark spot I could listen to LP and everything would melt away. I am a music guy always have been, and LP just filled that hole for me. I have only been in 1 situation in life where LP did not make things better right away, but after sometime, it was eventually a song by them that brought me out of it. I am forever loyal to them and am super glad that their music does what it does to me.
Meat Hammer, why do you date crazy ass bitches?
Fuck if I know
Meat Hammer, won't you regret your tattoos one day?
Hell no, they kick ass. If I didn't want them I would not have gotten them. Every single tattoo I have means something to me, some more than others but they have deep meaning to me so piss off if you don't like them.
Meat Hammer, when will you grow up?
Fuck you
Meat Hammer, are you gay?
Yea I love the cock. Dumbass. No I am not gay, I am a naturally happy person. I have an eccentric personality, and get easily excited. I do not see how that makes me gay. this one probably pisses me off the most because of my high school years.
Meat Hammer, when will you stop collecting dolls?
First off, they are not dolls, but collectible figurines and statues. Every one has a hobby, 1 of mine is collecting figurines. I have a family member who is much older than I am who has a large collection of items from his childhood, and never once did I think he needed to grow up for it. Its what I like, it makes me happy, who are you to say I should stop. We all have something strange, childish, crazy or dumb that we like. This is mine.
Meat Hammer, when will you stop cussing?
When they are no longer considered curse words. Also what the fuck is wrong with fuck? It means sex, is sex a curse word? No! Yea we use fuck in different ways but who is the almighty douche bag that said fuck is a bad word. I think I will research this and let you all fine readers know. Also, its a fun word.
So there, that is me, and because I am a nice guy, if I missed a question that you would like answered, go ahead and leave a comment, I will get back to you with an honest answer about why I am who I am. This is me, I changed things about myself for people in the past and that was dumb. Go eat a marshmallow.
The Meat Hammer
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Rescue success, Utah life
So, I sit here with nothing to do at 0337 waiting to go to work by 0600. Why am I still up you may wonder, well let me begin my tale of the rescue.
Things were almost perfect last weekend. My best friends got to Vegas in the morning and we took advantage of the day by hitting the strip and making the best of the time we had. That Friday night we had the whole apartment loaded in the UHAUL and ready to go. Saturday was an easy day, ending with watching Auburn play Clemson at BJ's. The drive home on Sunday was nice, a good 6+ hours talking with C Bear. By Tuesday I was 95% unpacked and settled in. So far the job is great, part time hours as it was 4 years ago, instead of the 17-20 a week im able to rack in about 35. Good times, will help to pay off the car and get things rolling. In other news, I am finally enrolled in school, Broadview University for criminal justice. Time to rack in that post 9/11 GI Bill and Yellow Ribbon money. I have been enjoying being back home, seeing old friends, making new ones and loving life. Tonight, probably the best night since being home. We met up at Iggys for the Auburn game, very enjoyable, and a great win, then came home and starting the drinking fest with Million, Anarchy, Homewrecker and the Big Guy. After multiple drinks we headed down to the man cave for some Band Hero, nothing like a drunk rock fest on the XBOX. We decided it was time for bed around 0230, and I had to be up for work at 0445. Pointless to go to bed so here I am awake and waiting to go to work for 4 hours.
Moving on to some more important stuff....
With as great as life is getting to be here, the past still lingers. Thankfully I am level headed enough to not make drunk phone calls anymore, or Succubus might have gotten a wake up call this morning. There were so many things left unsaid and I know I will never get those answers, and to an extent it really bothers me. At other times, I feel she can just go fuck herself for all I care, and one day, as LP so fantastically put it, she will swim through the smoke of bridges she has burned, and nobody will apologize because she has lost what she didn't deserve. I wonder now how long it will take for me to get from 90% over her to 100%. So now the bigger problems and decisions come into focus. I need to continue to plan out my 3rd time is a charm idea. I am left with 2 options, get a better car, start to get on my feet and move to Washington, or stick it out in Utah for a little over a year- 1 1/2 and get my degree, get well off on my feet them, move to Washington. Whatever the Reserves say to me this weekend will be a major player in that.
All that said I am more happy than I have been in the last 8 months, I am with family and friends, plenty of support around me, plenty of love, and plenty of fun, compared to giving up my life for someone who could give 2 shits. I am well on my way, and other than being too tired to go to work in 25 minutes I haven't a grip in the world. Stay tuned for next time, when I explain a few things about who and why I am the way I am. FTW and WAR DAMN EAGLE!
Things were almost perfect last weekend. My best friends got to Vegas in the morning and we took advantage of the day by hitting the strip and making the best of the time we had. That Friday night we had the whole apartment loaded in the UHAUL and ready to go. Saturday was an easy day, ending with watching Auburn play Clemson at BJ's. The drive home on Sunday was nice, a good 6+ hours talking with C Bear. By Tuesday I was 95% unpacked and settled in. So far the job is great, part time hours as it was 4 years ago, instead of the 17-20 a week im able to rack in about 35. Good times, will help to pay off the car and get things rolling. In other news, I am finally enrolled in school, Broadview University for criminal justice. Time to rack in that post 9/11 GI Bill and Yellow Ribbon money. I have been enjoying being back home, seeing old friends, making new ones and loving life. Tonight, probably the best night since being home. We met up at Iggys for the Auburn game, very enjoyable, and a great win, then came home and starting the drinking fest with Million, Anarchy, Homewrecker and the Big Guy. After multiple drinks we headed down to the man cave for some Band Hero, nothing like a drunk rock fest on the XBOX. We decided it was time for bed around 0230, and I had to be up for work at 0445. Pointless to go to bed so here I am awake and waiting to go to work for 4 hours.
Moving on to some more important stuff....
With as great as life is getting to be here, the past still lingers. Thankfully I am level headed enough to not make drunk phone calls anymore, or Succubus might have gotten a wake up call this morning. There were so many things left unsaid and I know I will never get those answers, and to an extent it really bothers me. At other times, I feel she can just go fuck herself for all I care, and one day, as LP so fantastically put it, she will swim through the smoke of bridges she has burned, and nobody will apologize because she has lost what she didn't deserve. I wonder now how long it will take for me to get from 90% over her to 100%. So now the bigger problems and decisions come into focus. I need to continue to plan out my 3rd time is a charm idea. I am left with 2 options, get a better car, start to get on my feet and move to Washington, or stick it out in Utah for a little over a year- 1 1/2 and get my degree, get well off on my feet them, move to Washington. Whatever the Reserves say to me this weekend will be a major player in that.
All that said I am more happy than I have been in the last 8 months, I am with family and friends, plenty of support around me, plenty of love, and plenty of fun, compared to giving up my life for someone who could give 2 shits. I am well on my way, and other than being too tired to go to work in 25 minutes I haven't a grip in the world. Stay tuned for next time, when I explain a few things about who and why I am the way I am. FTW and WAR DAMN EAGLE!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Rescue Mission: The Succubus MA 18+
Succubus - A female demon supposed to descend upon and have sexual intercourse with a man while he sleeps. An evil spirit; a demon.
Succubus
Every rescue mission has a cause, a purpose and a result. This is no different. My rescue mission is under way in the upcoming days, here is why.
The Cause
We all know Susan, and we all know the past of Susan, but lets briefly re-cap. I met Susan almost 7 years ago. She was perfect, and we had great times. Because of my career I would have to move away so it caused break up problems. Long story short, we were on and off for a few years, but always said when the time comes, we will make it happen. Early this year, that time came. Some things changed, Susan had a child, and a friendly relationship with the father. Nothing I couldn't over come. I moved to the 9th circle of hell for her, and just as if I died and went to hell, left everything in my other life behind for her.
After the first 2-3 weeks of moving, I knew things were going downhill but refused to acknowledge it. The Succubus was revealing herself. Susan has some deep anger issues, and the slightest word or movement would set them off. She was selfish with her time and refused to give anything into a relationship. Gather round kiddies, its story time.
We all know that women are terrible drivers, and no body in their right mind should give a woman a drivers license, this is a fact, and Susan is the perfect example of this. I recall a night on the strip when her friends came to town. She insisted on driving to the casino bar. During this trip, on a crowded street, with no blinkers, no slowing down, crosses multiple lanes, causes multiple cars to slam on their brakes beside and behind us almost getting into 3 accidents on the short 10 minute drive. During this drive, a car pulls up beside us and throws things at our car for almost killing them. And how dare you be the one to bring this type of actions to her attention. During a trip home one night, we stop for food. While turning off the highway and onto a main road, she turns onto oncoming traffic, instead of our lane. Naturally I grab the O SHIT handle and say what the hell are you doing? *anger trigger* a few moments later after some not kind words, I get the "Fuck you, I am sick of people telling me I cant drive, I fucking hate you." This continues until we arrive home. As you can imagine both of us are angry now, one more than the other I assure you. I get out of the death mobile throw the food on the ground and start to leave. That didn't last long when a glass shattered in the road behind me. Damn Succubus.
Time goes on and things get worse, constant fighting over dumb things like, we like different flavors of ice cream, you check CNN to much, you are an immature child who plays video games and reads batman. So we would have talks about how to fix things. They all went about the same, this is what bothers me, this is how we can fix it, you do this Ill do that kind of thing. And let me tell ya, I changed a lot of things. I cut back on playing my "childish" video games. Spent almost every night at her place to spend more time with her. Took on household responsibilities, (but yes I am still a man and had my times of putting off the trash or leaving some clothes around for a few days. Sue me, it fucking happens) cleaned her nasty ass house top to bottom while she was on vacation. Even cut back on my truthful woman jokes because they bothered her. The conversation would go both ways, she would agree to stop showing the demon inside when I got up to get a drink, or would suggest domino's pizza over a 30$ pizza somewhere else. She never changed.
You see, a relationship is a give and take, and not a 50/50, but a 100/100 give and take. This turned into a 150/5 relationship. Now it wasn't all bad, ya know, Susan did a lot of things to help me out, I mean, I had no car, no house, no friends, no family, little money, no job... because ya know, I sacrificed things for her. That equals her 5% to the relationshit. Yes, that is what it was. As you can see, this is a good cause to be rescued. But blind ole Meat Hammer didn't get the point.
One of the many times I was called immature and childish- A late evening while Susan was sitting on the couch doing her homework I decided to flip through TV and see what I can find. And something great I did find, the original, live action Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles movie. Now can you show me one mid 20 year old man that would not LOVE to watch that movie? Its from your childhood, they were icons when you were little, and remembering the past is a great thing sometimes. So I settle into the chair and get comfy for my movie. About 10 minutes in she look at me and asks, "what the hell are you watching?" I tell her and she scoffs, then tells me I am immature and should watch adult shows, and adult movies. This coming from the "mature" girl who will sit down and watch ABC Family and Disney shows meant for 10 year old little girls. And no, not with her child, but when she is alone. Now you tell me, which is worse?
I continued to try and make things work, even after I was told "I do not love you". Turns out that Susan has no idea what it is to be loved, or love, or be in a relationship. She is very selfish, despite what grandeurs she has in her head, and does not really care who she steps on to get her way. The final straws came when I once again attempted to open up to her and put a nice close to it all, and received nothing more than a smart ass fuck you in return. Now since then I have some information, some that nobody knows I have. I know what she is doing, and who she is doing it with. And the things I know make me feel used, in ways that no man should ever be used. So no Succubus, there won't be a morning after, and you can just go fuck yourself.
The Purpose
This weekend, Anarchy, Chocolate, and Anarchies better half are entering the 9th circle of hell to rescue me. This weekend I move up north to get back on my feet and get my happy life back. I somehow, survived the Succubus, and it wasn't by playing Maureen McGovern's "Morning After" backwards. I am thankful to have friends like them, who even after telling me long ago, don't do it Meat Hammer, its no good, it will end bad, she is an ex for a reason, they will still come to my rescue. I love you guys and cant wait to be apart of the Ohana again.
The Result
This is yet to be seen, but refer to my earlier post 3rd Time is a Charm, or bad things come in threes? for that.
So as you might guess, yes, This makes me angry, but I'm not always angry about it. I look back and know that there were good times, and this was a learning experience, and even though Susan is a Succubus, Her family was not. And for that I am extremely thankful. I think that I have moved on as much as any man can, there will always be that slither of what was, and it will never go away. And there will be times that I will still get angry at the situation, and angry at Susan, and dream of a day that I can confront her face to face and give her a piece of the Meat Hammer's mind. But the high road is a hard one to take, and as of right now, I am looking down on her from miles above.
Fuck you, you good for nothing, selfish, lying, manipulative, cold hearted, shitty sandwich making, shitty woman driver, time wasting, bottom of the barrel succubus. (ok, so I may have fell down a few miles on that one, but shit happens.)
*Just for fun, a few songs that will always make me smile and thing about Susan when I hear them*
Gives You Hell
Waiting for the End
Pray for You
Succubus
Every rescue mission has a cause, a purpose and a result. This is no different. My rescue mission is under way in the upcoming days, here is why.
The Cause
We all know Susan, and we all know the past of Susan, but lets briefly re-cap. I met Susan almost 7 years ago. She was perfect, and we had great times. Because of my career I would have to move away so it caused break up problems. Long story short, we were on and off for a few years, but always said when the time comes, we will make it happen. Early this year, that time came. Some things changed, Susan had a child, and a friendly relationship with the father. Nothing I couldn't over come. I moved to the 9th circle of hell for her, and just as if I died and went to hell, left everything in my other life behind for her.
After the first 2-3 weeks of moving, I knew things were going downhill but refused to acknowledge it. The Succubus was revealing herself. Susan has some deep anger issues, and the slightest word or movement would set them off. She was selfish with her time and refused to give anything into a relationship. Gather round kiddies, its story time.
We all know that women are terrible drivers, and no body in their right mind should give a woman a drivers license, this is a fact, and Susan is the perfect example of this. I recall a night on the strip when her friends came to town. She insisted on driving to the casino bar. During this trip, on a crowded street, with no blinkers, no slowing down, crosses multiple lanes, causes multiple cars to slam on their brakes beside and behind us almost getting into 3 accidents on the short 10 minute drive. During this drive, a car pulls up beside us and throws things at our car for almost killing them. And how dare you be the one to bring this type of actions to her attention. During a trip home one night, we stop for food. While turning off the highway and onto a main road, she turns onto oncoming traffic, instead of our lane. Naturally I grab the O SHIT handle and say what the hell are you doing? *anger trigger* a few moments later after some not kind words, I get the "Fuck you, I am sick of people telling me I cant drive, I fucking hate you." This continues until we arrive home. As you can imagine both of us are angry now, one more than the other I assure you. I get out of the death mobile throw the food on the ground and start to leave. That didn't last long when a glass shattered in the road behind me. Damn Succubus.
Time goes on and things get worse, constant fighting over dumb things like, we like different flavors of ice cream, you check CNN to much, you are an immature child who plays video games and reads batman. So we would have talks about how to fix things. They all went about the same, this is what bothers me, this is how we can fix it, you do this Ill do that kind of thing. And let me tell ya, I changed a lot of things. I cut back on playing my "childish" video games. Spent almost every night at her place to spend more time with her. Took on household responsibilities, (but yes I am still a man and had my times of putting off the trash or leaving some clothes around for a few days. Sue me, it fucking happens) cleaned her nasty ass house top to bottom while she was on vacation. Even cut back on my truthful woman jokes because they bothered her. The conversation would go both ways, she would agree to stop showing the demon inside when I got up to get a drink, or would suggest domino's pizza over a 30$ pizza somewhere else. She never changed.
You see, a relationship is a give and take, and not a 50/50, but a 100/100 give and take. This turned into a 150/5 relationship. Now it wasn't all bad, ya know, Susan did a lot of things to help me out, I mean, I had no car, no house, no friends, no family, little money, no job... because ya know, I sacrificed things for her. That equals her 5% to the relationshit. Yes, that is what it was. As you can see, this is a good cause to be rescued. But blind ole Meat Hammer didn't get the point.
One of the many times I was called immature and childish- A late evening while Susan was sitting on the couch doing her homework I decided to flip through TV and see what I can find. And something great I did find, the original, live action Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles movie. Now can you show me one mid 20 year old man that would not LOVE to watch that movie? Its from your childhood, they were icons when you were little, and remembering the past is a great thing sometimes. So I settle into the chair and get comfy for my movie. About 10 minutes in she look at me and asks, "what the hell are you watching?" I tell her and she scoffs, then tells me I am immature and should watch adult shows, and adult movies. This coming from the "mature" girl who will sit down and watch ABC Family and Disney shows meant for 10 year old little girls. And no, not with her child, but when she is alone. Now you tell me, which is worse?
I continued to try and make things work, even after I was told "I do not love you". Turns out that Susan has no idea what it is to be loved, or love, or be in a relationship. She is very selfish, despite what grandeurs she has in her head, and does not really care who she steps on to get her way. The final straws came when I once again attempted to open up to her and put a nice close to it all, and received nothing more than a smart ass fuck you in return. Now since then I have some information, some that nobody knows I have. I know what she is doing, and who she is doing it with. And the things I know make me feel used, in ways that no man should ever be used. So no Succubus, there won't be a morning after, and you can just go fuck yourself.
The Purpose
This weekend, Anarchy, Chocolate, and Anarchies better half are entering the 9th circle of hell to rescue me. This weekend I move up north to get back on my feet and get my happy life back. I somehow, survived the Succubus, and it wasn't by playing Maureen McGovern's "Morning After" backwards. I am thankful to have friends like them, who even after telling me long ago, don't do it Meat Hammer, its no good, it will end bad, she is an ex for a reason, they will still come to my rescue. I love you guys and cant wait to be apart of the Ohana again.
The Result
This is yet to be seen, but refer to my earlier post 3rd Time is a Charm, or bad things come in threes? for that.
So as you might guess, yes, This makes me angry, but I'm not always angry about it. I look back and know that there were good times, and this was a learning experience, and even though Susan is a Succubus, Her family was not. And for that I am extremely thankful. I think that I have moved on as much as any man can, there will always be that slither of what was, and it will never go away. And there will be times that I will still get angry at the situation, and angry at Susan, and dream of a day that I can confront her face to face and give her a piece of the Meat Hammer's mind. But the high road is a hard one to take, and as of right now, I am looking down on her from miles above.
Fuck you, you good for nothing, selfish, lying, manipulative, cold hearted, shitty sandwich making, shitty woman driver, time wasting, bottom of the barrel succubus. (ok, so I may have fell down a few miles on that one, but shit happens.)
*Just for fun, a few songs that will always make me smile and thing about Susan when I hear them*
Gives You Hell
Waiting for the End
Pray for You
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The dirty "D" 18+
Perverts...
So I have many things that I want to get off my chest and share with you all, but this one seems as though it should come first. Lets talk about death. it fucking sucks, period.
I have lost people in the past, friends from high school, friends from military service, friends from child hood, family members, suicide, cancer, and people that I barely knew. They are gone and that is it, nothing more to it. It still sucks. I don't truly wish death on any man, and the one I do, is no man, nor a woman, he is an incarnate of the evil bastard down below. But even then, I think of the people that death would effect, and even though I could care less what happens to them, it still sucks. What do you say to a friend who is losing a parent figure? I love you. I am here for you. I'll pray for you. thats about it, and yes those words help in the slightest, but that person would be just as well if they were never said.
To LSU, I love you, I am here for you, I will continue to pray for you.
A family received a bad notification this week. An elderly woman, who has been in bad shape health wise for some time got worse, and no real sign of anything getting better. The family is now in that time frame of trying to mentally prepare themselves for a loss. Well, we all know thats bull shit because there is no way to do that. but to that family I want you all to know, that death happens, and all you can do is try to be a peace with it, and keep talking to the big guns upstairs, because no matter how shitty his plans for us may be sometimes, he has a good head on his shoulder, and knows what he is doing. I love you, I am here for you, and I will continue to pray for you.
The thought of death does not go away. I have a dear friend, and Anarchy will never forget her loss. This death was beyond close to her, and every year, she will remember nothing but good times. I have a few people from my past that I will never forget who died. 1 of which was blood related, the other few were friends, or people I considered my family. The biggest cause of this, cancer. *Dear cancer, you are a dirty, worthless cunt, who does nothing but tear the world away from people on this earth. I pray that you fall down a bottomless pit, and as you fall, see bits of food that are just out of your reach so you starve, and slam against the walls that are laced with AIDS, and the heat of the pit brings on 3rd degree burns, and your only point of life is to fall, but never die. fuck you. Love, The Meat Hammer* Some were of suicide, due to the financial and relationship problems of life, or military stress. I love you, I am here for you, You will be in my prayers.
Some deaths are just unexplained accidents, such as falling off a ladder. Once again, God, you do some screwed up things to us, but in the end, we know you had a reason that we just will never understand. To you Hazel Green, I love you, I am here for you, and I will continue to pray for you.
We have all dealt with death in our past so you can all relate, and deny as you will, but at one point we all stand and scream what the fuck God, why? What the hell were you thinking? How dare you? You love me my ass, and by god, that works... for 5 minutes. I have done it, and for more things than just death. So let me get to the point. Yes death sucks, and you will hide in your own little spot on this earth and you will cry, be angry, be depressed, laugh it off, remember, then cry again. But death is not the end of the world. Man, I am a cold hearted bastard, but its true, and sometimes the truth is the worst to hear. I hope that with all that is in me, that Washington will carry on, and that God will tell you that its not the end of the world. Yes, the second half of you may be gone physically, but they are never really gone. You are loved, we are hear for you, and we will continue to pray for you.
I love you, I will miss you, and I will always pray for us.
The Meat Hammer
So I have many things that I want to get off my chest and share with you all, but this one seems as though it should come first. Lets talk about death. it fucking sucks, period.
I have lost people in the past, friends from high school, friends from military service, friends from child hood, family members, suicide, cancer, and people that I barely knew. They are gone and that is it, nothing more to it. It still sucks. I don't truly wish death on any man, and the one I do, is no man, nor a woman, he is an incarnate of the evil bastard down below. But even then, I think of the people that death would effect, and even though I could care less what happens to them, it still sucks. What do you say to a friend who is losing a parent figure? I love you. I am here for you. I'll pray for you. thats about it, and yes those words help in the slightest, but that person would be just as well if they were never said.
To LSU, I love you, I am here for you, I will continue to pray for you.
A family received a bad notification this week. An elderly woman, who has been in bad shape health wise for some time got worse, and no real sign of anything getting better. The family is now in that time frame of trying to mentally prepare themselves for a loss. Well, we all know thats bull shit because there is no way to do that. but to that family I want you all to know, that death happens, and all you can do is try to be a peace with it, and keep talking to the big guns upstairs, because no matter how shitty his plans for us may be sometimes, he has a good head on his shoulder, and knows what he is doing. I love you, I am here for you, and I will continue to pray for you.
The thought of death does not go away. I have a dear friend, and Anarchy will never forget her loss. This death was beyond close to her, and every year, she will remember nothing but good times. I have a few people from my past that I will never forget who died. 1 of which was blood related, the other few were friends, or people I considered my family. The biggest cause of this, cancer. *Dear cancer, you are a dirty, worthless cunt, who does nothing but tear the world away from people on this earth. I pray that you fall down a bottomless pit, and as you fall, see bits of food that are just out of your reach so you starve, and slam against the walls that are laced with AIDS, and the heat of the pit brings on 3rd degree burns, and your only point of life is to fall, but never die. fuck you. Love, The Meat Hammer* Some were of suicide, due to the financial and relationship problems of life, or military stress. I love you, I am here for you, You will be in my prayers.
Some deaths are just unexplained accidents, such as falling off a ladder. Once again, God, you do some screwed up things to us, but in the end, we know you had a reason that we just will never understand. To you Hazel Green, I love you, I am here for you, and I will continue to pray for you.
We have all dealt with death in our past so you can all relate, and deny as you will, but at one point we all stand and scream what the fuck God, why? What the hell were you thinking? How dare you? You love me my ass, and by god, that works... for 5 minutes. I have done it, and for more things than just death. So let me get to the point. Yes death sucks, and you will hide in your own little spot on this earth and you will cry, be angry, be depressed, laugh it off, remember, then cry again. But death is not the end of the world. Man, I am a cold hearted bastard, but its true, and sometimes the truth is the worst to hear. I hope that with all that is in me, that Washington will carry on, and that God will tell you that its not the end of the world. Yes, the second half of you may be gone physically, but they are never really gone. You are loved, we are hear for you, and we will continue to pray for you.
I love you, I will miss you, and I will always pray for us.
The Meat Hammer
Monday, September 13, 2010
3rd Time is a Charm, or bad things come in threes?
For most people, they plan out their lives right after high school. Most have a back up plan in case that fails. Half the time, when they reach a mid life crisis or God forbid the unimaginable happens, they re-plan their life for a second time, but no man should have to plan his life for a third time.
When I graduated high school, I had a life plan with a few "maybes" mixed in. That was to join the great United States Air Force, retire at 38, and get a second career, with the fall back of, get out after 6 years and go to school. Well during my time in, even though times were rough in the middle, I decided this is what I need to do. 20 years, retire, then a new career in either surveillance or security. Almost two years ago, my thought process changed and I started to plan out my life for the second time in only 6 years. Obviously this is not good.
I received a phone call from a girl in my past, Susan. We had talked from time to time over the 6 years, dated on and off, and always said that if the time came, then one day, we will be together for good. Well that time came. I decided to change my life plans. Leave the USAF after 6 1/2 years, join the USAF Reserves, settle down, and get the family I have been wanting the last two years.This was a not a spur of the moment choice mind you, Susan and I had multiple conversations about this and we both decided this was it. My life was planned, and I am finally entering the last major thing for my life, a wife, children, a family. Saving this story for another time, that second plan did not work. I am now 25 years old, I have some university under my belt, 16 credits away from a Community College of the Air Force (CCAF) degree, little to no savings, do not own one item of value, no wife and kids, no real job, claiming unemployment just to survive, and a fairly uncertain future.
They say the third time is a charm, well lets put that to the test.
When I graduated high school, I had a life plan with a few "maybes" mixed in. That was to join the great United States Air Force, retire at 38, and get a second career, with the fall back of, get out after 6 years and go to school. Well during my time in, even though times were rough in the middle, I decided this is what I need to do. 20 years, retire, then a new career in either surveillance or security. Almost two years ago, my thought process changed and I started to plan out my life for the second time in only 6 years. Obviously this is not good.
I received a phone call from a girl in my past, Susan. We had talked from time to time over the 6 years, dated on and off, and always said that if the time came, then one day, we will be together for good. Well that time came. I decided to change my life plans. Leave the USAF after 6 1/2 years, join the USAF Reserves, settle down, and get the family I have been wanting the last two years.This was a not a spur of the moment choice mind you, Susan and I had multiple conversations about this and we both decided this was it. My life was planned, and I am finally entering the last major thing for my life, a wife, children, a family. Saving this story for another time, that second plan did not work. I am now 25 years old, I have some university under my belt, 16 credits away from a Community College of the Air Force (CCAF) degree, little to no savings, do not own one item of value, no wife and kids, no real job, claiming unemployment just to survive, and a fairly uncertain future.
They say the third time is a charm, well lets put that to the test.
- Retire from the USAF at 38; start new career - FAIL
- Find nice girl, settle down and start a family, build a new life - FAIL
- Get on my feet, re-join military, settle down, start family ???? - My Charm
So here I am, two of my closest friends embarking on a rescue mission to save me from the ninth circle of hell of Las Vegas, and bringing me to the first circle of hell in Layton Utah. A job at an electronics store, and attending one semester of school at a community college simply to get some extra money. I will start the process of yet again getting in the military, for the third time in 7 years, and go Active Guard in Washington state. Doing what I love, and build my third life. Start of 2011 will be the end point to see if this third change will really be my charm, or if I prove true to the saying of bad things come in threes.
The Meat Hammer
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