just drunk thoughts

so after class tonight I decided to buy a bottle of rum and make summertime's, in honor of cinnamon bear. So now I sit on my front porch, half a bottle down and not stopping until it's done, listening to only 90's music, playing my guitar and figuring shit out. These are my drunk random thoughts. So relax, STFU and enjoy....

My life is fucked right now. I have almost no money, and in debt 2500 to my folks. A 27 year old man... really?

I need to take charge. I have probably the best mentor a man could have, second to my old man. This guy has adopted a saying I made up for pure fun and made it into something that is real, and he is living it more than me. Not anymore. I am moving on, I am Kenning rises.

I need to do something big in my life, fast.... I never wanted to but I am now convinced to join the police force here in Alabama.

3 years ago a 2 year literally saved my life. he is now 5, and once again he has motivated me in a way he will not understand for years.

I have been single a while now, and have had a couple chances to change that. For one reason or another I have not. Why? WTF am I scared of?

I do not have a job in field right now and that shakes me to the core. There is no reason for this. I am currently finding a course to get C+ certified for a job to go along until the police bring me in.

I AM batman, and batman is Kenning.

I was told this weekend that kenning is not just a saying but a way of life. I in some way without meaning to have motivated a great man, and that makes me realise that I need to live up to this.

I just poured a drink that was 3/4 rum and 1/4 dr. pepper. It taste AWESOME

I am happy, and I really have almost no reason to be. Maybe it is the rum, but I think it might be something more.

I am sitting in the rain, with an umbrella covering my laptop right now and loving every minute of it. I feel alive.

I have found motivation in the worst of places this past week. A young man I used to baby-sit recently joined the army. I can not express how proud of him I am, really. he just got married. I felt old. I was bummed out his wedding night. Then I got home, and realised the young boy that has grown into a man, that I may or may not have motivated, influenced, or helped has become something great, suddenly no longer makes me feel old, or like a failure, but now motivated. How things change.

I have done great things in my life, I have helped and motivated, I have achieved, I have grown, I have moved on, I have overcome, WTF am I depressed about.

GIRLS lol.... holy shit.

I know of a few women in my life.... Don't know where I am going with this. I know a girl that I could have started something maybe great here in Alabama. I denied it. I know a girl I could have done something great with, but I waited to long. I know a girl that could have been great, but she is a bitch. I know a girl that my life would not be what it is without her, but I have no clue what I was supposed to do about it.

I am getting rained on, and it feels amazing,

I have a fantastic family, minus my sister. my folks have been amazing, and even though I may make wise cracks and make them feel bad with my jokes, I really only want and mean the best for them. My mom is beyond amazing. My old man taught me how to be a man. how the hell do you repay that?

best part about drinking on a large deck alte at night... not going inside to piss. BRB.

90's music was by far the best of my time..... Linkin Park excluded.

cinnamon- do you remember when I gave you the peacock... lol thats a funny word. I tried my hardest to just tell you some things and I probably failed because the military has caused me to not talk emotionally. you have helped me so much. you tore me out of my shell. Musically and mentally. I no longer hate all women because of you. you changed me, you fixed me. I am forever in debt to you even though you will deny it and I can not wait to see you next month!

I can not believe this umbrella idea is actually working and protecting my laptop and phone in the rain lol

Mentor: man you are a constant everyday motivation  for me. And It is an honor to know I have helped you. I don't want to get gay here so just thank you.

I just took a drink and got excited that the cup was almost full because the bottle of rum is almost gone.

I am an uncle, and teaching my nephew important things means the world to me. recently my uncle had a talk with me and told me that my cousin, who looked up to me did not like who I have become. That was a hard pill to swallow when I thought about it. It got me to thinking what I need to  change. Then I realised that I do not need to change, but rather be aware of my company. I am interested and laugh at things that I need not show everyone else. lol I just sounded smart. I fell kind of guilty.

If I keep talking shit will come out that has no business coming out. I need to just go finish drinking and figure shit out.

Final words, Kenning is on the rise, and is becoming something I never expected. Watch out because it will effect you all.


The Meat Hammer