"Meat Hammer, why are you _____?" None of your fucking business thats why! MA 18+

SO I have wanted to do something like this for a long time, because I get a lot of questions about certain things that I do, say, like, or act like. Well it really isn't any of your damn business, but what the hell I'll tell you anyways.
Meat Hammer, why are you such a big Auburn fan if you never went there?
Well let me explain something to you non southern folk. College football is not a sport, it is not just a game to watch , it isn't just entertainment. In the south, football is a religion, marriages, friendships, and households are broken up over football. Major events are not held on Saturday because of football. So when I moved to Alabama I was in 6th grade and could give two shits about football but I was asked if I was a Bama or an Auburn fan. Well hell I didn't know so I went home and looked at the two teams colors and liked Orange and Blue better. Years later and even more so over the last 5 or so years I have gotten really big into football, and know for a fact I chose the better team. Fuck you Bama.

Meat Hammer, why are you always so damn happy and energetic?
Well I actually don't know for a fact, I have many theories. Despite my sailor mouth I am a God fearing man, and I know he lives in me so that makes me happy. I am naturally optimistic so I always look for the better of things and the good in people. Probably why I always get shat on in life. I hardly ever see the glass half empty because I know life could always be worse. Besides, what is being angry and worried about life really going to do for you? Exactly, so stop hating your daddy, get off the damn stripper pole and get a real job. Well on second thought, stay on the pole and hate your daddy, that entertains me.

Meat Hammer, why do you like Linkin Park so much?
Well this is probably the easiest question for me to answer. Believe it or not I was probably the most unpopular kid in school. I was called gay until my senior year when people started growing up. None of the cool kids liked me, I had very few friends, which was nice but at the time I just wanted to be the cool kid. Well on a JNROTC trip my buddy Dirtface and I picked up the debut CD by LP. I loved it, fell in love with every song, and thought that some songs fit my life perfectly, and to this day, A Place For My Head is my favorite song. And since then everything they have put out has somehow fit my life. And anytime I was sad, depressed, hurt, angry, and just in a dark spot I could listen to LP and everything would melt away. I am a music guy always have been, and LP just filled that hole for me. I have only been in 1 situation in life where LP did not make things better right away, but after sometime, it was eventually a song by them that brought me out of it. I am forever loyal to them and am super glad that their music does what it does to me.

Meat Hammer, why do you date crazy ass bitches?
Fuck if I know

 Meat Hammer, won't you regret your tattoos one day?
Hell no, they kick ass. If I didn't want them I would not have gotten them. Every single tattoo I have means something to me, some more than others but they have deep meaning to me so piss off if you don't like them.

Meat Hammer, when will you grow up?
Fuck you

Meat Hammer, are you gay?
Yea I love the cock. Dumbass. No I am not gay, I am a naturally happy person.  I have an eccentric personality, and get easily excited. I do not see how that makes me gay. this one probably pisses me off the most because of my high school years.

Meat Hammer, when will you stop collecting dolls?
First off, they are not dolls, but collectible figurines and statues.  Every one has a hobby, 1 of mine is collecting figurines. I have a family member who is much older than I am who has a large collection of items from his childhood, and never once did I think he needed to grow up for it. Its what I like, it makes me happy, who are you to say I should stop. We all have something strange, childish, crazy or dumb that we like. This is mine.

Meat Hammer, when will you stop cussing?
When they are no longer considered curse words. Also what the fuck is wrong with fuck? It means sex,  is sex a curse word? No! Yea we use fuck in different ways but who is the almighty douche bag that said fuck is a bad word. I think I will research this and let you all fine readers know.  Also, its a fun word.

So there, that is me, and because I am a nice guy, if I missed a question that  you would like answered, go ahead and leave a comment, I will get back to you with an honest answer about why I am who I am. This is me, I changed things about myself for people in the past and that was dumb. Go eat a marshmallow.

The Meat Hammer